Alexa Brown AP English Period:4 To This Day Imagine waking up to beautiful mornings everyday only to dread it. To wish you never woke up, but stayed in the world you created. The world where nobody called you a different name, where they didn’t pick on you, where you made the rules and where you felt safe. Why didn’t you feel safe awake? Why couldn’t you be free? Bernard Kelvin Clive once said, “Your mind can be either your prison or your palace. What you make it is yours to decide.” My mind is both. I can be free, but when I think of the things they said it makes me feel like “I’m the background noise of a soundtrack stuck on repeat” (Shane Koyczan). Remember that one kid you saw on the playground.The one you saw in the corner by themselves, the one who had no one to laugh, play, or talk too. I was that one kid. I was the kid who was an outsider, the one who didn’t belong to any clique, and definitely the one who had no friends. I was alone. I was surrounded by those who would say “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” As if those broken bones hurt more than the words we were called. We were told them all so we grew up believing we will be nothing. Nobody will ever fall in love with us or that we’d be lonely forever. “So broken heart strings bled the blues as we tried to empty ourselves so we would feel nothing. Don’t tell me that hurts less than a broken bone. It does” (Shane Koyczan). Nobody knew how I felt like I was lost in a dark abyss with no escape. The anguish, the pain, and the sadness. I cried out, “ Stop,” but did they listen? No , they continued. With an arsenal of name calling such as: “Hey ugly!” “Stupid ugly b****!” There were more and each scarred me in a way like no other. However, I learned how to build a cast around my heart and bandage