Growing up I always thought of myself as an individual, as well as an identical twin and it was strange to me that other people didn't see this as well. For myself and my twin sister Jenna, people not bothering to, or not being able to distinguish between them is likely to reinforce our thoughts that it was normal for us to me seen as one, rather than two individuals.

I’ve always thought of myself as a lucky. Because of my sister, I was never alone growing up. The most fun part is probably just having a companion you can count on. However, the most challenging part is the feeling that everything is a shared life experience which is heavily influenced by family, friends and the people around us who perceives us to be the same person and one identity, while in fact we are very different.

The constant comparison we had to deal with, especially in out childhood caused major difficulties for me and my sister. Some people including our family; began labelling us and making comments such as "she's the pretty one" or "smart one" or "she's the bad one". These generalisations were very damaging to us while we were growing up; we began to receive unrealistic expectations to the way we were supposed to be according to others. Sometimes we even started to resent one another, which almost damaged our relationship.
While we were growing up we were often called "the twins" and I guess at the time I didn't really mind. Looking back, it was because people didn't see us properly as separate individuals. Even our friends, who could easily tell us apart, sometimes referred to us as “the twins” rather than using our names. I think some of it is just people's lack of understanding and awareness and not bothering to recognise and develop separate relationships. On the other hand I think some of it is also because as a twin we had such a close bond that people might not have wanted to interfere in our relationship.

Defining my identity and working on me as an individual have taken a lot of my energy. It has been a big focus for me to get to where I am in my life. The only times I’ve ever struggled with it are when people have negative perceptions, which is still currently occurring. Being a twin made it harder for me to have my own sense of self and it was harder for me to have a sense of deserving. My life was more about the “we” than about the “I” and in saying that I think my sense of self developed later than it would have if I didn’t have a twin sister.
Undoubtedly, there is a close connection between me and my sister Jenna. A physical and emotional connection developed when we were born and this connection has remained throughout our lives. It must not be forgotten that we are two individuals make up a twin pair, and that we have both grown into our own separate identity.