Ruth Schambeau
7/8/13
When one thinks of a love song, they think of the narrator gushing about their object of affection, their one true love. The narrator is supposed to go on and on about how in love they are and how all they think about is that one and only person. Some love songs are sad and the narrator ends up heartbroken and alone and other times they have a “happily ever after” ending similar to those in fairytales. Most of the time, love songs live up to their name and are about purely about love. In T.S. Eliot’s “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock,” some of these expectations are anticipated to make their way in to the poem in some way or another, yet that is not the case; it is more the lament of a self-conscious man who lives with fear and uncertainty about himself and women. Whilst it may seem Prufrock is incapable of making an emotional connection with any female; it would seem a woman aggressive enough to get him out of his shell, yet gentle enough to deal with his sensitivity and fear would make the perfect match for him.
We cannot imagine that any woman would listen to any love song by Prufrock, any more than they would find his name or his person attractive. A man named J. Alfred Prufrock could hardly be expected to sing a love song. "J. Alfred Prufrock" indicates his formality; he is overeducated, eloquent, neurotic, and emotionally damaged. He is a man stricken with feelings of isolation and incapability for decisive action. Prufrock laments the lost opportunities in his life and he is haunted by reminders of unrequited love. He shows his inherent feelings of weariness, regret, embarrassment, longing, emasculation, and sexual frustration.
Prufrock is first introduced at a gathering where there are plenty of women. While looking around he sees all the women “Talking of Michelangelo.” These women are middle and upper class people putting on an act talking about the fine arts. When Prufrock wonders to himself if he should go and approach any of the women, he doesn’t know what to talk about; he’s not sure if he should speak about the poor class and “Of lonely men in shirt-sleeves, leaning out of windows.” Prufrock also worries the entire night that all the beautiful women are analyzing him, tearing him apart head-to-toe like a bug “wriggling on the wall.” Instead of noticing how modest and put together he looks, Prufrock feels the thoughts will only be negative with the women thinking, “How his hair is growing thin” and “how his arms and legs are thin.” Instead of giving any of the women a chance, Prufrock shot them all down ending what never even started of the love song. Prufrock also tries to boost his ego by putting down the women talking about their “Arms that are braceleted and white and bare (But in the lamplight, downed with light brown hair!).” He is like a young boy thinking about approaching his crush only Prufrock is an older man.
Only a woman confident enough in herself and persistent would be able to break down the walls built up by Prufrock. Yet a woman like this approaching Prufrock for the first time would most likely completely horrify and confuse him. Women’s sexuality is a foreign and frightening concept that he believes he has no hope in ever mastering. He would be unable to understand her. Yet, if she was persistent enough and patient, she could show him that women are actually not the terrifying, judgmental monsters that he believes them to be. She would also have to be equally as gentle with him. Prufrock already thinks low enough of himself; he does not need a woman so overbearing as to crush his spirit even more. He needs a woman who would be sensitive enough to take the time to understand Prufrock’s inner psyche. She would also need to be able to accept Prufrock for who he is; she wouldn’t want to change him, merely open him up emotionally. Through all this, Prufrock could potentially become more confident in himself. If he could gain his masculinity, he may become more accessible as an emotional being that someone could fall in love with.
One lucky lady that struck me as being a match for Prufrock was that of the character Rosie from Manchurian Candidate. Of course, the theory of her being a watchdog over Major Marco has to be overlooked. Rosie is a strong, yet gentle woman. She comes on very intensely to Marco, practically giving him no other choice than to fall in love with her. But, when Marco is dealing with the emotional and dramatic parts of his life, of which there are countless, she seems to be able to understand him and comfort him. Their relationship moves at a very fast pace; but it seems as if Marco hardly even notices. She has already made him feel like he is at home. Rosie might be able to do the same with Prufrock. He needs the kind of woman that will be aggressive and come on to him; he’s not exactly the type of guy to make the first move. Prufrock would hardly have any time to realize what was going on. Rosie is someone who would be understanding and sensitive to Prufrock’s low self-esteem and fear of women. In Rosie’s case with dealing with someone like Prufrock, it is better to jump in with both feet. Prufrock needs someone who can push him; his indecisiveness would be the demise of him without a strong woman forcing him out of his shell.
Assuming Rosie and Prufrock are fated to be together and do somehow meet each other, it can only be assumed that their relationship would be somewhat eccentric. Based on Prufrock’s character from reading the poem, it is obvious that he is not exactly a social butterfly. Rosie, on the other hand, seems like she would be capable to handle any situation coolly and calmly. The two of them together would be a nice counteraction to each other. It’s not like Prufrock is a complete dullard, he just is hypersensitive and needs someone to be able to force him into showing his actual personality. I wouldn’t say that the two of them together would be the life of the party per say, but they would be an interesting couple to try and understand. Rosie, being the more dominant personality, would obviously wear the pants in the relationship. Though, in a way, I think that is the way Prufrock would prefer it. It would take the stress out of having to deal with women and it appears he is someone who needs more direction. Although Rosie would be the dominant partner it is not to say that he is emasculated by her. Rosie will merely help him gain confidence where he is lacking and turn him more into a man. She will not completely overrun him. In the end, I think they would have what would be considered a fairly traditional, middle class family life.
“The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock” is certainly not your typical love story. In a way though, it’s a look into the thoughts of men and their own uncertainties in love and in themselves. Typically you read poems of lament written by heartbroken women. T.S. Eliot puts a refreshing twist on that by using a man’s insight. Prufrock is merely a man who doesn’t even believe in himself and needs someone capable of helping him to overcome that. Eugenie Rose Cheney could be just the person to bring out the real J. Alfred Prufrock. If she were to succeed, Prufrock may actually compose a real love song to his one true love.