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Capella University Writing Feedback Essay

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Introduction In this brief essay, I will review Joy (2016) week five assignment utilizing the Capella University Writing feedback tool (2016). The essay will cover the body and organization of the essay and the body of evidences that was utilized in the essay.
Message to peer
Joy you did a good job research and gathering information for your topic. You have strong statistical elements throughout your essay that if utilized correctly will help to bolster many of your ideas. Overall this was a good first draft that holds a great deal of promise. There are some adjustments that need to made in an effort to create a more compelling essay.
Body: Organization Joy, I believe the over arching idea of the paper was to demonstrate the dilemma that “high-achieving woman” face which impact their personal life. I gathered that because you attempted to demonstrate evidence of this premise throughout the body of your essay. It is important to clearly state the purpose of the essay in the introduction, so the reader has a clear expectation of what the essay will cover. The introduction of the essay should be used to structure the body of the essay and will help you to focus your writing for the topic heading that you are writing about. …show more content…
Your voice is very important as you will demonstrate how the evidence that you used supports and validates your thoughts. It is also important to link ideas between each paragraph which will allow a logical flow of your essay. In other words, you should demonstrate the link between each section of your essay. Although they are different ideas and can stand alone, they should logically support the entire essay. Demonstrating how they link together by using transitional phrases will help with the logic and flow. Utilizing the Capella Writing center (2016) paying specific attention to the overview and drafting modules will help you with the area that I

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