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A Cynic’s guide to Dieting

In today’s world dieting is at the top of the food chain. Every new product on the market claims to help you lose weight. I even saw a commercial for a chair that promises to give you firmer abs just by sitting on it. Almost every adult in America is on some sort of diet. Growing up I swear every single diet plan to ever gain popularity wound up in my basement. My mother was a diet fad-follower. She tried everything; Jenny Craig, Atkins, Slim4life, ediet.com, weight watchers, nutra-system, even hypnotism. You can name any diet and she tried it. Even exercise equipment. Anything guaranteed to give you a rockin’ body was bought, tried, and forgotten in the basement. So yeah, as you can guess, nothing worked for my mother. And I grew up knowing that diets fail. So just my luck, a couple years into college, I grew fat. Not like “oh my god, how can two feet support that much weight!?” But in a subtle “someone YOUR size…” type of thing. It was the kind of fat where guys don’t check you out on the street and there is no such thing as a cute-girl-discount anywhere. When I finally stood on the scale and understood that the number wasn’t an error, that I really was THAT heavy, I realized it was time for me join the craze and jump on the diet train. Only, I don’t do fads. I’m more of do my own thing instead of paying someone money to tell me what to do. So I decided to lose the weight on my own. And I did.

A Cynic’s guide to losing weight

Let’s break down how the body works, okay? Your body uses up a certain amount of calories to live. The amount varies by how tall you are, how much you weigh, how high your metabolism. Oh and if you workout you can burn more calories. But it is really hard to burn enough calories working out to make a difference. In my heaviest of days my body burned off about 1700 calories

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