This essay will describe the changes in family dynamics at the birth of a child as they affect each of the following: newborn, mother, father, siblings, and extended family of the new parents.
Although a newborn baby is a bundle of joy, some adjustments should be done to welcome the new member of the family. With a new addition to the family all members should expect and be prepared for tremendous changes. These changes directly affect the mother, father, siblings and extended family of the new parents.

First, we can start with the changes in the newborn’s life. With the delivery the baby undergoes a huge stress. Until the delivery the newborn is safe and sound in her mother’s uterus. She received nourishment from her mom, she heard her heartbeat and it was nice and warm in there. As soon as she leaves the uterus there are so many changes that she has to go through. Learning to breathe independently, adjusting to different temperatures and the very difficult feeding process makes her little body exhausted. It’s important that the parents provide the baby with the best medical care so the baby can grow to be a healthy child. In addition, the baby needs a positive family interaction to make the adjustment easier.

Secondly, we can examine the mother, the most important figure in the baby’s early stages. We can easily say that the mother’s adjustment to her new life is the most difficult one. Mothers go through drastic hormonal changes during their pregnancies. After the labor and the delivery the body tries to go back to its state before the pregnancy. This causes the hormone levels to fluctuate, which in the end create mood swings and even depression for the mother. On top of these changes, mothers get extremely tired trying to feed, change and care for their babies around the clock. They don’t get enough sleep and nutrition they need and are overwhelmed with all the other things they need to deal with. In addition to the physical effects of having a newborn we should also consider the psychological effects which may be more devastating for the mother. Most mothers will have anxieties because of the responsibilities added to their shoulders. They question themselves by asking if they are a good mother, or if they are doing things correctly etc. They feel inadequate and guilty. Some of them lose their confidence because of the weight they gained during pregnancy. They feel that they are not attractive any more. This can also contribute to a problematic relationship with her partner. All these physical and psychological changes are called the postpartum depression. A report (2010) from the American Academy of Pediatrics notes that more than 400,000 infants are born each year to mothers who are depressed, making prenatal depression the most under diagnosed obstetric complication in America. A healthy lifestyle and a little help from the father and the extended family members can make things go smoother for the mother.

Next, we can have a look at what changes the fathers undergo after their baby is born. Fathers may not go through any physical changes like mothers do but their life also changes dramatically. They worry about the financial responsibility. They lose their freedom and there is a continuous pressure from the mother to stay home and help her with the baby. Since the mother concentrates and gives all her energy to the baby, they feel left out. The attention they use to get from their wives is no longer there. But the father’s involvement in childcare makes all the difference in the world. According to a research (ASA, 2000) 90% of fathers surveyed said that being a father is the most fulfilling role a man can have.

Another member of the family whose life is changed forever after the newborn comes home is the sibling. Before the new baby enters their life, the firstborn had all the attention from her parents. Now she has to deal with this feeling of not being wanted. Many of them use different strategies to cope with this feeling and attract their mother’s attention. These strategies may include behaviors such as baby talk, asking for bottles and pacifiers, eating and basically acting like a baby. They think that maybe if they act like a baby, their mothers may give the same attention that she gives to her baby sister or brother. Psychologists studying the interaction patterns of preschool children and their infant siblings report that the arrival of a newborn in the family has immediate consequences for older siblings' adjustment and behavior. Bed-wetting, withdrawal, aggressiveness, dependency, and anxiety are among the most problematic behaviors reported in these studies (Dunn 1995). These symptoms may be prevented or at least minimized by preparing the firstborn for the new baby ahead of time. According to BBC Health website explaining in advance, reassuring her, being honest, involving your child and avoiding change can help. Both parents should make sure they spend enough time with the firstborn and involve her in the process of taking care of the newborn.

Last but not least, the grandparents and the extended family members play a huge role in raising a child. It’s a very positive experience but it has its difficulties. Many grandparents often feel that they are getting older with the birth of their grandchild. At times, they may think that they forgot what they know about taking care of a baby. They may be hesitant and refuse to take control. Instead they may help you with house chores. But for many, it’s the other way round. They may want to take control of the whole situation and keep telling the parents what to do. They contradict the parents on every issue from baby’s food to their sleeping times. They even challenge the doctor’s suggestions. Nevertheless, grandparents, uncles, aunts, nieces and nephews can provide information from their experiences and offer you much needed support to help you cope with these changes in your life.

In conclusion, a positive involvement and engagement of all family members contribute greatly to a child’s well being. Many researches show that the children raised by both parents are physically, mentally, socially, academically, economically superior comparing to their peers who are coming from single parent households. As an old African proverb says it takes the whole village to raise a child.

References

FROM THE AMERICAN ACADEMY OF PEDIATRICS: Clinical Report—Incorporating Recognition and Management of Prenatal and Postpartum Depression into Pediatric Practice

Marian F. Earls and
THE COMMITTEE ON PSYCHOSOCIAL ASPECTS OF CHILD AND FAMILY HEALTH
Pediatrics peds.2010-2348; published ahead of print October 25, 2010,doi:10.1542/peds.2010-2348

SOURCE: W. Jean, et al. “Children’s Time with Fathers in Intact Families.” American Sociological Association. 2000

Sibling Relationships - Sibling Relationships Across The Life Span