...I Believe in Forgiveness Six years ago, I saw my father in Brooklyn, NY. When we saw each other it was a cold feeling. I was still hurting from when I saw in 2008, when I left Los Angeles, CA and moved Southaven, MS. I didn’t know if I should have been happy or should I approach him with hatred. I was stuck and he was stuck too. The so called hug didn’t feel factual and the laughs were bogus. My insides wanted to scream with hatred filled words. I wanted to ask him “Why you don’t love?” “I am your daughter!” But the words were jammed deep inside my throat. My father was in out of my life throughout my childhood. At the age of 9, he had gotten remarried and another child which is my half-sister. He had his perfect family and I was incomplete....
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...Since 1985 there has been a tremendous increase in research regarding intrapersonal forgiveness, but very little regarding self-forgiveness. The purpose of this article was to bring attention to the topic of self-forgiveness within this growing body of research. The definitions of self-forgiveness from many disciplines were reviewed along with what features of self-forgiveness differ from those of intrapersonal forgiveness emphasizing the need for an increase in empirical research on the subject matter. There are many unanswered questions regarding self-forgiveness. It is questioned if the true self-forgiveness yields the same result as pseudo self-forgiveness because both allow the person to feel better about them. While there is little research on the answer, it is doubtful because true forgiveness is built on self-evaluation and pseudo self-forgiveness is built on self despite. There is also a question of when self-forgiveness is appropriate. Many times a person blames his or herself for things that are not their fault. In this case should a person be told to learn to self-forgive? There are many questions regarding self-forgiveness that if given the time and research could be answered. Based on the little research available Hall and Fichman were able to develop a theoretical model of self-forgiveness to be used in future research. In this model the emotional, social, and offense related determinates of self-forgiveness where outlined and explained. The limitations of the...
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...Self-Forgiveness: The Stepchild of Forgiveness Research CUON506-B13 September 25, 2011 Self-Forgiveness: The Stepchild of Forgiveness Research is an article that focuses on the importance of comparing and contrasting interpersonal forgiveness as well as intrapersonal forgiveness. Not only does this article emphasizes the definitions and classifications of self-forgiveness, but also identifies the emotional and social cognitive determents, the limitations and implications self-forgiveness may trigger. Julie Hall and Frank Fincham composed this article with great detail and research to analyze the importance of self-forgiveness and examining the conventional issues that must be directed when considering the suitability of self-forgiveness. This article evaluates the components of self-forgiveness through a model that outlines its implications through research. Guilt, shame, attributions, conciliatory behavior, perceived forgiveness from victim or higher power, and severities of the offense are some of the many processes that constitute self-forgiveness. These processes causes the offender or the offended to account to more positive reprimands and fewer ongoing negative reprimands of the transgression than do offenders who have not forgiven themselves. Hall and Fincham explain that three levels of self-forgiveness and self-respect must ensue to involve restoration. First, self-forgiveness requires an objective fault or wrongdoing; second, negative feelings triggered...
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...Journal Article Review I Lauren Pedersen Liberty University Journal Article Review Summary Spousal emotional abuse is ongoing, significant problem, impacting nearly 35% of women. Emotional abuse by a spouse or romantic partner can often lead to negative psychological outcomes, including depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, posttraumatic stress disorder, learned helplessness, and resentment of the abuser that persists even when the abuse ends. There have not been designated therapies designed to help these women. Gayle L. Reed and Robert D. Enright (2006) examine the roles forgiveness therapy has on emotionally abused women in the article The Effects of Forgiveness Therapy on Depression, Anxiety, and Posttraumatic Stress for Women After Spousal Emotional Abuse. According to Reed and Enright (2006), forgiveness therapy is designed to help the client let go of the anger and resentment that stems from a justifiable wrongdoing. The researchers believe that forgiveness therapy will be beneficial to the women who were emotionally abused by their spouse because it targets the resentment the woman has for the abuser. These emotionally abused women often times experience learned helplessness and accusatory suffering. Learned helplessness often occurs when women develop self-blame in response to their abusive spouse’s criticism and ridicule. Whereas accusatory suffering is when the emotional abused spouse continues to feel like the victim and hold onto the resent. Because of the...
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...where no hurt is present and forgiveness is unnecessary? Sounds like Heaven right? However, the act to forgive is one of the most challenging aspects of human life. It is difficult to display the act of forgiveness, especially when pain and pride is at the center of one’s heart. Often times, this act can be taken as weakness rather than strength. The Merriam- Webster definition for forgive is “to stop feeling angry or resentful toward an individual for an offense, flaw, or mistake”. This Journal Article Review will discuss intervention studies on forgiveness and obtain the following sections: summary, reflection, and application. It will also highlight forgiveness case studies and define forgiveness according to findings within the research analysis. The quote “Forgive, but never forget” is an oxymoron...
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...loving –kindness, compassion, forgiveness, gratitude, acceptance and best-self-visualization...
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...Faculty Research and Publications Education, College of 1-1-2002 A Positive Relationship Between Religious Faith and Forgiveness: Faith in the Absence of Data? Lisa Edwards Marquette University, lisa.edwards@marquette.edu Regina H. Lapp-Rincker University of Kansas Main Campus Jeana L. Magyar-Moe University of Kansas Main Campus Jason D. Rehfeldt University of Kansas Main Campus Jamie A. Ryder University of Kansas Main Campus See next page for additional authors Originally published in Pastoral Psychology, Volume 50, No. 3 (January 2002), online at: http://dx.doi.org/10.1023/A:1012940402668 Authors Lisa Edwards, Regina H. Lapp-Rincker, Jeana L. Magyar-Moe, Jason D. Rehfeldt, Jamie A. Ryder, Jill C. Brown, and Shane J. Lopez This article is available at e-Publications@Marquette: http://epublications.marquette.edu/edu_fac/44 1 Edwards, Lapp-Rincker, Magyar-Moe, Rehfeldt, Ryder, Brown & Lopez A Positive Relationship Between Religious Faith and Forgiveness: Faith in the Absence of Data? Authors: Lisa M. Edwards,1,2 Regina H. Lapp-Rincker,1 Jeana L. Magyar-Moe,1 Jason D. Rehfeldt,1 Jamie A. Ryder,1 Jill C. Brown,1 and Shane J. Lopez1 Religious faith and beliefs appear to play an important role in the lives of many individuals and are the topic of much research. The present study investigated the relationship between religious faith and forgiveness in a sample (n = 196) of college students. Students were asked to complete the Heartland Forgiveness Scale and...
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...A Review of the Effects of Forgiveness Therapy Liberty University A Review of the Effects of Forgiveness Therapy Reed's and Enright research on forgiveness has demonstrated that a forgiveness recovery program resulted in psychological benefits for women with a history of emotional abuse by a spouse or romantic partner. This review of Reed & Enright (2006) includes a summary of the article, a personal reflection of the material, and application points for future consideration. The article in review employed a case study format that puts forgiveness therapy and will be referred throughout this paper as FT and Alternative Treatment which will also be referred throughout this paper as AT under comparison in women who has experienced emotional and psychological abuse whom have been separated for 2 or more years with no interest on reconciliation. The main goals of the article were first to provide data that proves that FT is more beneficial for women as a therapeutic approach (Read & Enright, 2006). The two therapeutic strategies discussed in this article include: (a) Forgiveness Therapy, and (b) Alternative Treatment. The method of study was conducted of 20 women who fall into the description of psychologically abused between the ages of 32-54 from different ethnic, educational, racial and family dynamics. The design consisted of a control group that had limited contact with their former partner varied regardless of pre-existing children, were divided into 10 groups...
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...the topic of forgiveness Chasity Webster PSY 400 Martin Methodist College Forgiveness is one of the most compassionate things that we can do for one another. The term is greatly misinterpreted and because of this it is not often given in the truest sense of the word. Forgiveness requires finding and feeling compassion and then being able to let go of anxiety, anger and yearning for revenge. Letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for compassion, kindness and peace. In an article reviewing compassion, the authors define compassion as the feeling that arises in witnessing another’s suffering and that motivates a subsequent desire to help. The definition theorizes compassion as an affective state defined by a specific independent feeling, and it differs from treatment of compassion as an attitude (Goetz & et. al 2010). According to Webster’s Third Edition, to forgive is to cease to feel resentment against, on accord of wrong committed, to give up claim to requital from or retribution upon an offender, to absolve; pardon. Generally, forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act that hurt or offended you might always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, positive parts of your life. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you. Forgiveness doesn't mean that you deny the other person's responsibility for hurting...
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...is of a Holocaust survivor who spoke about the bitterness that remains in himself about Nazi’s treated him and other POW’s, “If you could lick my heart, it would poison you” (Thomas). To some, crimes like the Holocaust may seem unforgivable, from a religious aspect, it is a Christian obligation. But many could argue that one cannot commit such cruelty and evil and simply be forgiven, so crimes like the holocaust may seem unforgiveable but it is evident by many researchers and scholars that in fact they have found that forgiveness plays a crucial role in the ex- Prisoners of war emotional healing to be able to lead a resilient life after such traumatic events. Generally, forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act that hurt or offended you might always remain a part of your life. But forgiving allows you to help you focus on other, positive parts of your life. Understanding that everyone may or may not deserve forgiveness no matter the person or act is a universal debatable topic; standing from a religious or spiritual aspect it may be a Christian obligation. For example the verse Mark 11:25 “But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too” (NIV). Several of the former war prisoners are forgiving their ex-captors for claiming the...
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...those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another; do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly; never be conceited. Repay no one evil for evil, but take thought for what is noble n the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends upon you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God; for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” No, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals upon his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. I. Introduction In our life, there will be people we run across that will not like us no matter what we do. At that moment we will need to make a choice, payback or forgiveness. One of the most prevalent problems plaguing modern Christianity is an insincere attitude when it comes to loving our enemies. George Washington Carver said, “I will never let another man ruin my life by making me hate him.” It all comes down to our attitude. Romans 12:14 (NLT) talks about attitude and how we need to act towards people who treat us wrong. “Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them”. Why is this easier said than done? Human nature we want payback or at least what we think is payback even if it is irrational. In Romans 12:14-21, Paul is reminding us to not allow ourselves...
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...“Forgiveness is God’s command” (Martin Luther King Jr.). God says that every person deserves to be forgiven no matter what wrong they did, and every person should be quick to forgive. The action of forgiveness grows to become the major idea of the novel, The Shack, because Mack must forgive several important people in order to further his relationship with Christ. There are many cases throughout the novel where Mack must learn to forgive those who have hurt him deeply to better himself and his relationship. Research and multiple cases have continued to prove that forgiveness is a key aspect to maintaining a content life. William P. Young’s novel, The Shack, ties in this main goal of forgiveness and portrays the overall theme of forgiveness through the actions of Mack forgiving God, his father, and Missy’s killer. To begin, forgiving someone who caused severe pain and hurt can be hard, but it is definitely not impossible. Nearly every person in the world has been hurt...
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...Paula Vizcarra COM 220 18 April 2011 The Possibilities of Making a Romantic Relationship Successful the Second Time Around INTRODUCTION: Oprah Winfrey said, “As you become more clear about who you really are, you’ll be better able to decide what is best for you – the first time around.” Unfortunately, this is much easier said than done. Every individual has their own perspectives on romantic relationships and every couple establishes their own set of rules. The question is: which rules are the right ones? What is the secret to getting it right the first time, and is it healthy to go for round two if you don’t? Cosmo experts seem to disagree with Oprah and give their readers a list of steps to follow that will supposedly allow a second time around to be successful. DESCRIPTION: Cosmopolitan Magazine offers their advice on whether or not getting back into a relationship with your ex is a good idea with an article called, “Can a Relationship Work the Second Time Around?” The writer mentions that when a couple decides to go for round two, people usually respond with negative feedback like, “yeah, that’ll last” (Miller). This is true, however, experts say that as long as three main rules are followed, it has the potential to work. These three rules are to (1) go slow, (2) touch on the past, and (3) ultimately move on. The first step consists of making sure a second chance is what you want and what is best, not what you think you need because you don’t want to be...
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...of Martin Luther King Jr. He changed the perspective of how African Americans should view Caucasian people, rather than be angry with them, they should feel forgiveness. That was the start of a new perspective. From watching the film and exploring the website, I have...
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...To understand a religion’s views on death I believe you must first understand the very core of that religion. The first important core to understand a religion is to know what that religion thinks you should do in order to enter the afterlife. Another key to understand death as far as religion goes is how a person is expected to live life. When a person is dying or dead what happens to the body as far as a funeral plays a huge role in religions also. What is the afterlife? That is a question that separates many different religions and therefore people. What really is the difference between Christianity and Islam? One of the main chore thoughts in Christianity is that Jesus died on the cross to pay for human kinds sins. However if a person doesn’t repent of all their sins, and ask Jesus to come into their life or heart and change their lives then their faith is for nothing. Islam’s believe however that allah is the only God and allah tricked everyone including his servants that Jesus died on the cross. However muslims believe they can have their sins forgiven by praying at the right time, cursing Jews and Christians, or fighting for islam. From what I’ve learned from my research sin in Islam is not really a big deal. However in Christianity all sins are equal and a person must ask for forgiveness for all of their sins. Differences: living life As Christians people are expected to love God with all their heart, and to live for him completely. For a guideline...
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