Abstract

In today's society, divorce is on the rise. Children of divorced parents experience many issues. The impact affects all developmental stages of children. Emotional and behavioral problems can begin in the preschool stage of development. In the early latency stage, children tend to have fear and fantasize that their parents will get back together. In the late latency stage, children will label one parent good and one parent bad based on their own needs. In Adolescence, children become depressed and suicidal. Some will even question their future martial relationships. Overall divorce can affect a child’s life whether it is their academics, behaviors, sexuality, parent child relationships, economic status or psychological development. This paper will discuss how divorce can have life altering effects on a child.

According to Peck and Manocherian (1988), divorce has become an endemic to the American society. Almost 50 percent of couples choose divorce. Berger (2008) states one out of every two marriages ends in divorce. Divorce is also more likely to occur within the first five years after marriage (Berger, 2008). By this time most couples have had children. Therefore the impact divorce has on children can affect many aspects of their life. When the initial impact of divorce takes place, the child sometimes feels like they are to blame (Fritz, 2002). Therefore the parents must reassure the children that is not the case. Children need a chance to understand and talk about the impact of divorce in their terms to process the divorce (Peck and Manocherian, 1988). According to Fritz (2002), divorce develops change and a sense of loss. The child’s adjustment to the loss could take a while. Therefore parents should help to minimize the stress it creates and respond openly to the child. Fritz (2002) composed a chart of reactions to the stress of divorce. From birth to age 2 separation anxiety can result in withdraw or clingy behavior (Fritz, 2002). Peck and Manocherian (1988) also discussed how a child perceives a divorce. Babies are seen as less affected. Parent’s distresses mostly affected babies. Children ages 2 to 4 may develop bedwetting, thumb sucking, cry frequently, tantrums, problems sleeping through the night or regress to baby behaviors (Fritz, 2002). Peck and Manocherian (1988) state divorce is very hard for preschoolers. Ages 6 to 8 need individual time with each parent because most children will fantasies about the parents reuniting. They may also have problems with friends or school. They can even have issues with upset stomach or headaches (Fritz, 2002). Peck and Manocherian (1988) also found that children 6 to 8 have the hardest time of any age group. They have the ability to realize things yet do not possess adequate skills to deal with the disruption. Ages 9 to 12 are more involved in activities. Therefore one of the parents may get more of the child’s time. The child may also refuse to give one parent time. Role reversal can also arise (Fritz, 2002). Some children take on parent roles that can cause damage emotionally (Peck and Manocherian, 1988). Adolescence is a time of many changes both physical and emotional. They will form an identity separate from their parents. Dating and issues of their own future marriage are complicated issues the adolescence may face (Peck and Manocherian 1988). Ages 12 to 15 usually externalize blame and become controlling over which parent to live with. Serious problems such as depression, alcohol or drug abuse or sexual activity may require outside help. Ages 15 to 18 become focused on independence and activities. They may develop behavior problems, school issues, run away or get into trouble with the law (Fritz, 2002). Overall most children’s reactions to the stress of divorce are temporary and should be handled with sensitivity.
Duncan (1994) analyzed how economics affect children of divorce. For children who are already poor, their situation will most likely worsen. As studies have proven that most marriage will end in divorce. The percentages of children living in single parent homes have increased notably (Duncan 1994). Most children live with their mother and have lower income. They usually move to poorer neighborhoods. Higher levels of depression can occur with tough economic conditions (Portnoy 2008). Poverty can cause a divorce for some families. On the other hand divorce can cause poverty for some children. Especially, depending on whether a father pays child support (Duncan, 1994). Some fathers avoid child support, which in turn drives them away from contact with their children (Portnoy, 2008). Overall economic decline may have effects on the emotional stability of parents and their parenting effectiveness (Portnoy 2008). Growing up is harder to do when a child’s parents are divorced. Portnoy states “Children of divorce display higher levels of depression, anxiety and low self esteem and more frequent use of psychological services” (p.127). Girls are usually affected more than boys. A child’s academic performance may suffer as well. They can score lower or have lower educational aspirations or even drop out. This can cause a lower occupational status (Portnoy 1994). Adolescence females are more likely start their menstrual cycles early and have early intercourse in comparison to their never divorced counterparts. Adolescence males who live in single parent home will experience early sexual activity (Portnoy 2008). The parenting skills of the divorcees also affect the children. Children who come from higher conflict homes during the divorce perceive his or her life through the filter of the divorce. Mothers can display harsh discipline. Fathers are more likely to withdraw themselves. Loss of parenting causes long lasting effects on children. It can deprive the child of the support necessary for development of positive self esteem (Portnoy 2008). Overall the psychological, emotional and behavioral reactions can cause years of distress for the child. This in turn could affect their future relationships (Portnoy 2008). Sally is a case study B. Barcak et al (2010) wrote about. Her story is a descriptive on her development and aftermath of the divorce.
According to Freud’s Psychosexual Developmental Stage theories, Sally at 12 years of age was in the midst of her “Latency” stage of development at the time of her parents’ divorce. Because of the significant distress related to her parents’ marital difficulties, at her 10-year follow-up appointment in clinic, Sally admitted to having what seemed to be at least superficial difficulties in the years following her parents’ divorce in integrating her oedipal identifications both of her parents, as well as experiencing inherent difficulties in consolidating her expected gender role(s) and identity. Sally also seemed to suffer moderately from the pathology associated with this particular psychosexual
Developmental stage, in that she struggled with developing meaningful internal controls and coping skills. In fact, Sally seemed to have developed these internal controls only very minimally; because of this fact, Sally (unlike her older brother) had turned to numerous romantic relationships and recreational substance use as potential external sources of control over primarily depressive symptoms (potentially in an attempt to compensate for her previously mentioned underdeveloped internal controls).Erikson would have most likely classified Sally as being in the midst of her own “Industry vs. Inferiority” life cycle stage when her parents’ divorce occurred. Because the significant trauma of her parents’ divorce contributed to Sally’s feelings of being (as she put it) “frozen in time” at this particular developmental stage for a number of years, she appeared to experience predictable deficits in her ability to quickly and easily learn new skills necessary for imagining and realizing future roles. In addition to this, Sally demonstrated frequent procrastinating and poor planning behaviors as a result of her arrest at this developmental stage; these negative behaviors seemed to directly result in frequent feelings of inferiority and inadequacy when Sally compared herself to others (a phenomenon which also may have led Sally to turn to recreational substance use to try and suppress and/or mitigate these negative, self-loathing feelings). Sally’s interpersonal behaviors and developmental arrest(s) in the years following her parents’ divorce reflect to the premise put forth by D’Onofrio et al. (2007) that a robust association exists between parental divorce and subsequent substance use problems in these parents’ offspring, since this was most certainly true in Sally’s life during the years following her parents’ marital disruption. In addition, Sally displayed numerous behaviors which supported the findings of Roustit et al. (2007), namely, numerous indicators of psychosocial maladjustment in adolescents are significantly associated with family dissolution. As was true in the case of both her older brother and her four younger siblings, Sally also manifested behaviors which were consistent with the clinical findings of Silverberg Koerner et al. (2004), in that, she and her siblings were exposed to frequent and detailed maternal and paternal disclosures about their parents’ divorce, all of which seemed to be associated with her eventual adjustment difficulties during the years following her parents’ marital dissolution. Sally’s case seemed to also coincide with conclusions of Størsken et al. (2005, 2006), due to the fact that, as an adolescent, she seemed to intermittently experience anxiety and depressive symptoms, with depressive symptoms being more frequent and prominent throughout her teenage and young adult years. Sally also suffered from a lowered sense of subjective well-being, self-esteem, and school problems in the wake of her parents’ divorce (p.203-204).
In this case study, Sally experienced what many children today face due to divorce. In closing Kniskern (2008) reflected upon the book of Matthew 19:5 and said, for this cause shall a man leaves father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Marriage is a spiritual oneness with your spouse. God joins people together (Knisstern 2008). Therefore divorce is taken very serious by God. Overall people should learn to reconcile differences to maintain the family the way God designed it.

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