...Response Form (Your marked-up essay is below this form.) HOW THIS WORKS: Your e-structor has written overview comments about your essay in the form below. Your e-structor has also embedded comments [in bold and in brackets] throughout your essay. Thank you for choosing Smarthinking's OWL; best wishes with revising your paper! *Strengths of the essay: Thanh , thank you for submitting your assignment for review. I am Ann B., your writing tutor. First, I want to point out a strength I noted when I read your paper. This sentence in the introduction presents a question and then answers it: College athletes are supposed to be the best of the best on that level, so why do college athletes not get paid? The question sets up the argument nicely for the reader! Now let’s move on to some areas that need revision. Content Development: A direct quotation like this one is not a good topic or first sentence: McCourt states “The athletes are ones who put in hours of practice and training” ( Evan Rosenfeld and Scarlett McCourt). Your audience may not understand why this quoted passage is important. The topic sentence should present a main point about athletes being paid in your own words. The first point is the hectic schedule. Can you write a topic sentence that introduces this point? I note that the second body paragraph does have a topic sentence introducing a point from the thesis in your own words: Another reason to why college athletes should get paid is they need money for expenses...
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...going on in the world today. There is a housing market issue, health care reform issue, and companies fighting for paid sick leave from their jobs. There are many more this is just to name a few. The housing market is going to start booming again for a short time. The health care reform created by Obama will continue to be an issue for a long time, and companies are fighting to get paid sick leave when they are ill. There are so many things that have changed in the world, and it sure is not what it used to be. First, the housing market is starting to come back to business, but it is taking some time. “Between 2002 and 2007, the population of prospective homeowners grew at an average annual rate of 2.5 million. Over this same time period, the number of households increased by average of 1.1 million. And to accommodate these newly formed households, homebuilders built an average of 1.7 million housing units a year” (Maxfield, 2013). That is great for some people. When the United States was in the recession, there were many of people that lost almost everything that they owned. Anyone that is looking to buying a home, or having one built should take careful planning before doing so. People should consider that the United States could go into another recession at any time. Is the person going to be able to afford their home? That is the number one question a person should ask themselves. There are many people that try to live outside of their means. Sure it is nice if the person has...
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...This essay explores the notion that many undergraduate students engaged in paid employment. Furthermore, the essay discusses the impact of this on their experience at university and on their performance. Typically, a lot of college students have part-time job while studying at university. This situation may have positive or negative effects on their scholastic performance. As Applegate and Daly (2006) stated that it is vital to realize that negative results might be happened when higher educational students undertaking paid work. Besides, there is potential advantage for scholars to ameliorate their organisational skills. Understandably, paid employment might have either advantage or disadvantage for undergraduate students. This essay will argue that in general paid work have negative influence on student’s academic performance although it is depending on the age and how many hours they work. Further, it is argue that students are sacrificing leisure time because of having part-time job. The essay also indicates that many factors may effect on student’s performance at university and their experience. There are more and more university students undertaking paid work. The condition might have advantage or disadvantage rely on their age and working hours. According to Mcinnis, James and Hartley (as cited in Applegate and Daly 2006) “students who are first-year in seven Australian universities, found that the percentage of full-time students in paid-employment had grown from 42 percent...
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...Is The Film Industry Sexist? In this essay, I’m going to go over how women are treated in the film industry, go over and explain the concept of the Bechdel test, show the pay gap in the industry and how this reflects backs to Wales and affects the students of Bryntirion. Finally I’ll say how the industry should change and how it can be made more aware off in schools. First let’s start with how women were treated in films in the early 1900’s. Women were always given the role as the housewife’s, the weak victim who need a male hero to save them or the slag of the film. Everyone thinks the industry has made lots of progress since then. However the scary fact is, the only thing that has changed is the time period. From 2007 to 2012, The...
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...Equality in the Workplace Amber Leick DeVry University Online Equality in the Workplace When looking at a company’s promotion policy, Maria who is Latina filed a complaint for being unfairly eliminated for consideration for a promotion position distinctly because she has an accent. She has a graduate degree and has more work experience being at her company for ten years, more time than most of the other workers. She is the only worker of color in her department, and her dedication to her family had her in trouble for coming in late and receiving tardiness complaints. Her accent was stated as an issue when dealing with costumers. The person who received the promotion was a male Alex, with less experience at the job, but better upper management evaluations. Maria argued her poor evaluations were biased from her white, male supervisors. Maria was noted for being a good employee, but is loud and aggressive in her approach to work with others in the company. I feel Maria was treated unfairly for being promoted. Both women and people in the minority struggle when looking at how both are treated in the workplace. Women are facing problems of equality in job advancements and having equal pay. Minorities are underrepresented, and are struggling to find work. This paper will look at the issue of males versus females in the workplace, and the majority versus the minority in the workplace. Many people believe there...
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...of different races or backgrounds, etc) (Google) scenes. The movie also has a lot of racism scenes. In this essay I will tell you and show you why I think this movie is tolerance. I will also show you why I think it is also intolerance. Would you go against tolerance/intolerance or would you be with it. A big example of tolerance was the bus situation. The white bus driver had found out that the kkk had just killed a black man, and it was dangerous for the blacks but he didn’t care. He made all the blacks get off his bus, and took the white people close to there homes. He new that they where trying to hurt or kill blacks and he didn’t even try to help. He should’ve did the opposite and put the whites off. The whites where not in danger the blacks were. He should’ve took the blacks close to there homes for they could be safe. To me that also seemed racist. That the first tolerance scene ive showed you, there’s a lot more Another example of tolerance was hilly she was racist, and everyone could tell. She got almost every black maids in trouble. She numbers her toilet paper so she would know if her maid used her bathroom. She got Minnie sent to prison for something that was petty. I could have done the whole essay on her and her racism. She wouldn’t use her friends bathroom because she knows black people use it. She also thinks that she should always get her way. She doesn’t like Celia Foote because she mad that Celia husband doesn’t like her anymore that’s why...
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...Essay 1 “Should Everyone Go To College?” In this report “Should Everyone Go to College?” written by Stephanie Owen and Isabel Sawhill, a senior research assistant in the center of children and a senior fellow in Economic studies and co-director of the center on children, spoke about how has been absurdly overrated. Owen and Sawhill reported in the first paragraph of the summary saying “By telling all young people that they should go to college no matter what, we are actually doing some of them a disservice” Their prove in the report is known to be 100% accurate because this proves were gotten from reliable sources like March CPS 2007-2010, Hess et al and some other reliable sources. The rate of return on education can be calculated by discovering the cost and benefit associated with a certain level of schooling, this cost will be made up of the cost of textbooks and stationery, salaries of all the staffs, cost of time and study, rent of land on which the institution is cited and some other expenses. The cost of education is very high so there is not much net benefit. In other words the higher the tuition of college education the lower the net benefit of attending. Owen and Sawhill's report says that “the correlation is not causation, and getting at the true causal effect of...
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...Alyssa Vizcarra Professor Baird English 51 16 April 2015 Argument Essay College Athletes While in college being an athlete requires a great deal of additional work on top of being a student. A student makes certain sacrifices and works hard to play a sport he or she loves to play. Being able to play a sport a person may love or have a passion for while attending school is rewarding is several ways. Being an athlete in college already has a lot of advantages therefore college athletes should not be paid. Playing a sport in college is not considered a profession. Thus, the idea of paying an athlete to play while in college is illogical. First, if the athletes start getting paid they might start getting comfortable and unmotivated. Many college athletes already do not make it to the next step and become professionals. Even if it is only little money he or she might start to not want to work harder because he or she might become arrogant because he or she is getting paid. Also, a lot of the times money becomes relevant in a situation it becomes corrupt. All athletes know the choice to be an athlete comes with additional work and sacrifices. Athletes that play for a university most likely received a scholarship. Some athletes may have even received a full ride scholarship with room and board and other benefits. Certainly, having the honor to represent his or her school and getting a free education is rewarding alone. Not to mention at most universities...
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...that the immigrants with suspicion, violence and discrimination, so they forced to take the literacy tests to keep them out of America. 3. With the times goes by, there are less races than other in a century. Immigrants Are Good for America. 1. New immigrants are good for America because they developed the new economy. 2. Some examples to confirm that the immigrants study in America and get their job, so they made a great contribution for America. The Spirit that Built America. 1. The immigrants’ spirit drove America to succeed because they have the same humanity with America. 2. Some Americans were afraid that their hometown becomes a foreign land, but it’s wrong, because every immigrant have their own rights to live I this society and they also have to follow the rules. 3. Majority of immigrants are here legally. Sharing the Country. 1. The most important part is that the new immigrants can benefit the nation in some ways. 2. If we live in one place, we should treat others like a family although we have different color of skin. Everyone should share their country with others not shut them out. The Responsibilities of an American. 1. If someone wants to be an American, he must believe in the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution and accept all the responsibilities as well as the rights,...
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...Hero Essay English 9 Mr. Castellano Our next major writing assignment is to write an essay about someone you consider to be a hero. We are doing this essay now because it coincides nicely with our reading of The Odyssey. As we have discussed in class, Odysseus is the archetypal Western hero: brave, strong, clever, quick-thinking, steadfast. The list could go one. My point is that as we read about this ancient and, I believe, still relevant hero I want you to think and write about someone who is a hero to you. This should be a fun assignment. I am sure you have heard all too often that there are no more heroes today, that everyone we look up to is corrupt and will ultimately disillusion us. I whole heartedly disagree. Heroes are everywhere we look: we just need to look. (In a book I read this Summer, one of the characters says, “We find what we look for.”) Heroes can be people we know personally and people we have only heard about. Here are only a few suggestions: Jesus Christ, St. Francis, Mother Theresa, Martin Luther King, Jr., Barack Obama, Captain Chesley Sullenberger, your Mom or Dad, an athlete, coach, teacher, or friend. Again, the list goes on. Just thinking about and planning this essay (as well as writing it, of course) will be a good exercise in recognizing how many heroes you have – how many people strive for high ideals and live virtuous lives. They’re there: look for them. Part of this essay will include what you define as...
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...August 18, 2009Death Penalty Filed under: Free Essays — Tags: death penalty essay, death penalty essay examples, death penalty essay topics, death penalty research paper, death penalty term paper, free death penalty essays, sample death penalty essay — admin @ 10:55 am My argument will be for the death penalty because it is not actually justice killing a person but if that person goes out and kills another, than he or she should have the death penalty. “The death penalty is our harshest punishment. It is irrevocable: it ends the existence of those punished, instead of temporarily imprisoning them” (p.440). It is the serious and best punishment for murderers, and therefore we should not abolish the death penalty. If we abolish the death penalty, the murder rate will mostly likely increase because the murderer would be like, ah, all I have to do is go to prison for life and try to get parole. This would not be fair to the victim’s family, whose life was erase by a murderer. Death is more fearful than life imprisonment, so murderers who are sentence to death would rather have life imprisonment. What would be the reason for a murderer to be living in this world after taking the life of another person? There should be no light punishment for a murderer because that person should have thought about the consequences before he or she did it. I not saying punish every person that kills another because there are some situations where people are defending themselves as in self-defense...
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...Professor McCall Should Every American Go to College? “I’m going to college!” those four letter words rung through my head, as I walked across my high school stage. Shaking hands with the people who were becoming a part of my high school past. I than sat down into my seat and reflected on a previous conversation a classmate and I had. I was explaining to him about my college plans and by the end of the conversation, he uttered terrible words to himself. “Everyone is not going to college”. Even though he may have said it out of fear or worry for himself. I assured him that he will go to college and it is possible for anyone. Every American should go to college because it gives opportunities for greater employment, higher pay, and college experience. Graduating from a community or university will give you greater employment opportunities. Therefore, just having a degree can further your knowledge and give you that ambition to climb up the work force pyramid. Have you ever wondered, why your boss is in the position he has today? Well, it is because of working hard for years, challenging himself to courses that he may have felt were unnecessary, but in the end to be worth it, and waking up to do it all over again. The more society feeds into the negativity that everyone does not belong in college. The more American people will believe it. There are many authors like Pharinet who takes their silver spoon full of negativity and force it down Americans throat. In Pharinet essay, “Is college...
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...truly empowers individuals to strive for better? I do not think so, for what I saw, is that people will almost do anything to get a “like”, or getting comments on their feeds. Values and principles seem to be forgotten for the likes of fame and small advancements; so much work for little gain. In the video, there is a girl who has millions of followers and many sponsors, and the girl’s mom was asked what makes more followers; her response was incredible. The mom said that she takes full body pictures of her fifteen year old in order to have sponsors and followers. Here it begins, the erosion of human values for the whim of a “like”. That is not...
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...like: The welfare of all stakeholders who may influence or be affected by the programme/project; Possible differences or threats that could put at risk the programme; Chances and relationships that can be made on throughout execution; Groups that should be positive to contribute in different stages of the project; Suitable approaches and strategies for stakeholder commitment; and The full involvement of stakeholders in both project design and performance of is a key to - but not an assurance of - victory. Stakeholder participation helps following activities: Gives people a little idea over how projects or policies may change their lives; Is necessary for sustainability; Generates a logic of ownership if started early in the advance procedure; Gives opportunities for learning for both the project team and stakeholders themselves; and Builds ability and improves responsibility. Stakeholder analysis is also a proper time to discover whether or not gender will be an issue in the amplification and carrying out of future efforts. It is well standard that discrimination by gender is possible to reduce the impact and usefulness of projects and policies. Furthermore, the addition of women as stakeholders has the potential to get both better management of the resource base and enhanced community welfare. Gender analysis involves the assessment of the following: The distribution of tasks, activities, and rewards associated with the division of labour at a particular locality...
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...Sleep deprivation is defined as a sufficient lack of restorative sleep over a cumulative period so as to cause physical or psychiatric symptoms and affect routine performances of tasks. (WebMd) Sleep deprivation can lead to harsh physical and or mental problems and should be taken seriously. We are now living in a 24/7 world where we are constantly busy and there is work, television and electronics keeping us up. Getting the proper amount of sleep should be taken very seriously so that there are no harmful effects to your body or mind. Sleep is something that you cannot live without, just like the food we need to eat or the oxygen we need to breathe. Sleep may be the last thing we feel there is time for but it should be made a top priority. There are several consequences, such as accidents or disasters, that are a result of sleep deprivation or lack of sleep and everyone should make a conscious effort to improving the way they sleep. Sleep debt is a major factor in accidents and can cause slow or delayed reactions times. Slowed reaction time can be dangerous while driving a vehicle or even operating machinery. Not only could you harm yourself due to a lack of sleep but others could be in harms way as well. An example of sleep deprivation and slowed reaction time would be the Exxon Valdez disaster. This accident was a major disaster in where oil was spilled all over and harmed many living creatures. In “Sleep Debt and the Mortgaged Mind” William C. Dement and Christopher...
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