The Three Stages Of Grief Grief is an emotion that we all experience in one point of our lives. It is sparingly, complex and found hard to overcome. There are three stages to the process of grieving. Each consist of denial, anger, and depression. Individuals say that if you get stuck in one stage you are not done yet the process of grieving. In Alice Sebold’s novel “The Lovely Bones,” characters Lindsey, Jack, and Abigail all go through these stages when Susie Salmon is raped and murdered. The first character who goes through the three stages is Lindsey who has a very distinct way of going through the stages. The next character that proceeds throughout the stages is Jack who grieves immensely. Finally Abigail, who distances herself from her family to complete her process of grieving. In this novel each character proves that after someone dies it is crucial to go through the three stages of grief in order to move on with life. To begin, Lindsey is the first character to experience the three stages of grief. Lindsey suffers a lot and correspondingly goes through the three stages of grief; the first stage being denial. When Lindsey returns to her school her principal Mr.Caden brings her into his office and sympathizes for her situation. Lindsey becomes angry and remarks. “ I wasn’t aware I had lost anything” (Sebold 33). This shows that Lindsey is still in denial. She is still not ready to expect the fact that her sister is now gone forever. However she is now on the road to undertake the passing of Susie. Additionally anger is the next stage Lindsey experiences. However she does not portray it in a physical way. Lindsey constantly blames herself for the death of Susie and becomes frustrated that she was not there to do anything to prevent the situation from happening. As Susie looks down from heaven she says, “At times [Lindsey] wished it would have been her” (Sebold 47). Lindsey is now not only angry that she was not there to help stop the murder but also wishes that she was the one to die instead of Susie. Lastly Lindsey’s stage of anger turns into depression. Lindsey acknowledges that her sister died but she still feels sacredly devoted to her sister. When Susie observes her sister she says, “She avoided mirrors. She took showers in the dark now” (Sebold 59). Lindsey did not take showers with the lights on mainly due to two reasons. Every time she looked in the mirror she did not see her reflection bit Susie’s and lastly because she was so ashamed of herself for loosing such an important person in her life and she still blames herself for Susie’s death. She cannot look in mirrors because she is ashamed of looking at herself. As time went by and Lindsey got older she learned to accept the fact that her sister was gone forever. The three stages of grief are what got her to learn to move on. Without these stages, she would have never learned to cope with her sister’s death and continue to live her life. The second character that goes through the three stages of grief is Jack, Susie’s father. Just like his daughter Lindsey, his grief begins immediately. However, unlike the other characters there is something very admirable about the way Jack cannot let go of his daughter’s death. First, Jack is completely in denial about the death of his daughter. He cannot comprehend and process that fact that his little girl Susie is murdered. The way in which one can see that Jack is in complete denial is shown when the detectives continuously bring him more evidence about the murder. The detective tells him “ Nothing is ever certain” (Sebold 20). These words stick to Jack and make him believe that his daughter is somewhere out there is still fighting for her life, however it is clear due to all the evidence given that Susie is dead. The stage of denial then slowly turns into anger for Jack. Jack and Susie shared a hobby of building ships. Jack begins to break the ships to release the anger he has in his body. As Susie looks down from heaven she says, “ Then there was the ship that had burst into flames in the week before my death. He smashed that one first” (Sebold 46). As Jack breaks the ships it shows the reader that now he realizes that his daughter is gone forever and he cannot do anything to change that. However Jack still cannot let go of his daughter and learn to move on because he has not yet completed the three stages of grief. To finish off, Jack goes through the last stage which is depression. His depression is portrayed when he breaks down emotionally. Jack has been strong the whole time and tried to be the anchor of the family however he slid into depression. Susie says while she watches from heaven, “ My father was unable to stop his tears. He slid to the floor, and then opened up his arms” (47). After realization and release of anger Jack is now in an emotional state of depression. He must grief in this stage to move on from the death of his daughter. As Jack went through each stage he managed in the end to move on from the death of Susie, and accept the fact that she is gone for good. If not for these three stages of grief, Jack would be stuck in misery forever. In the end he finally put Susie in his memories where she belongs. The final character that goes through these three stages of grief is Abigail, Susie’s mother. Abigail copes with the death of her daughter in a much more discrete way then the other characters do. Firstly, Abigail's automatic reaction to hearing that her child is dead was denial. Detectives brought more and more evidence leading to death of Susie but Abigail refuses to believe that it was true. Susie watches from heaven and says, “ Evidence was mounting but she refused to believe” (Sebold 25). Being told something you do not wish to hear makes it very difficult for one to process the information being given. Abigail does not want to hear that her child is dead. Abigail’s stage of denial finally changes into anger when she focuses on Clarissa for being alive while Susie is not. As Susie watches down from heaven she says, “ My mother had entered some trance like state and was staring hard at Clarissa’s face. Clarissa was alive and I was dead. Clarissa began to feel it, the eyes boring into her, and she wanted to get away. Then Clarissa saw the dress. Hey, she said reaching toward my sister. What is it Clarissa? my mother snapped” (Sebold 120). Abigail becomes very angry with the fact that Clarissa, a low life person, is alive but her daughter who has not done anything wrong is dead. She finds it unfair so she snaps at Clarissa to release the anger built inside of her. Abigail is on the journey of completing the three stages of grief. Lastly, unlike the other characters in the novel Abigail does not go through the stage of depression but rather thinks its best for herself to move to California to get away from the stress and bad vibes around her. As Susie looked own from heaven she says: “The next day she left for her father’s cabin in New Hampshire” (Sebold 206). It is not said why Abigail left, but one can conclude that she needed to grief alone to get through the three stages. In conclusion, Abigail managed to come back to her family that she left when they were in their darkest times. She was not going to promise her family anything but she knew in heart that she was going to stay forever. Abigail completed the three stages of grief and in the end was able to reconnect with Susie by going to her room without feeling any pain, just acceptance. In conclusion “The Lovely Bones” written by Alice Sebold further justifies that every person must go through the three stages of grief in order to move on from the death of a loved one and live on with their lives. Lindsey goes through the three stages of grief that help her move on with her life and let go of the death of her sister. Like his daughter, Jack has a hard time dealing with the death of Susie however, later he manages to put Susie in his memories and heart. Lastly, Abigail, who even though distances herself from her family ends up completing the three stages and accepts the death of her daughter. All these characters prove that everyone has different way of going through the three stages of grief. However these stages must be completed to continue to live a full and wholesome life. In one point of everyone’s lives one will often loose a loved one or something that they were emotionally attached too. The grief that comes with losing something can often feel unbearable, however grief is a healing process. A process in which everyone must go through to obtain acceptance.

Work Cited
Sebold, Alice. The Lovely Bones. N.p.: Alice Sebold, 2002. Print.