Why Can’t I Belong
Belonging such a fickle term, such a horrid and vile word and James hated it. Perhaps it was not the word itself, but more so the weight it carried. He hated the idea of being part of a group of friends and never thought about trying to fit in, as it had never worked. That is why he hated belonging, because he never had, or at least no one had ever let him. Being part of a group was so important James when he was younger, and he had tried many times to make friends with his classmates, but nothing had worked. He tried playing the games they played, listening to the music they listened to, the whole works, but nothing seemed to pan out for him. No matter how hard he tried the would snicker at him, make jokes at his expense, or simply ignore him. It was infuriating and confusing for James, he didn’t understand why no one would accept him. His parents had always told him that if her was himself people would like him, and that there was no point in acting like someone he wasn’t. That was what seemed to bother James though, when he was himself, still no one liked him; and if no one liked him for him, when why should he like himself? All of these thoughts, all of the anger, all of the confusion, it was overwhelming. James felt completely isolated, he felt like he didn’t belong. That word, just part of the cyclical thinking he experienced, and every time that it emerged it tore away another piece of his being. A million times over James had thought about what had caused all of this, and why he just didn’t belong. The only incident that he could remember, or perhaps the first incident that he could remember, was when he was in grade 2. It wasn’t that at this point in time he was an unattractive person, or that he had a large personality flaw, it must have been his sickness. It was a regular day, and James along with the rest of his class and schoolmates