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Good Listener and Bad Listener

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Submitted By mncteddy
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Good Listener: 1. Me and my friend was chatting in one of the café in Lippo Plaza Medan
It happened not long ago, maybe around 2 or 3 weeks ago. Me and my friend, Sheryl, were having lunch together in one of the café in Lippo Plaza before we watched a film in Cinemaxx. Actually, she just went back from Singapore. I started by asking how she did in Singapore. She just sighed and answered that it was tiring. And then, she asked me back the question that I asked earlier. I just answered that studying in Medan is easier than in Singapore. Because I’m a talkative person, I continued by telling her how I studied in UPH. When I was telling the story, she kept her eye contact with me and sat upright posture. From the way she sat and watching me, it made me know that she was listening to what I was saying. During that time, the food came late, which made me to tell more stories to her because I hadn’t met her for a year. She had not even checked her phone or looked at her watch which made me sure that she was really listening to me. She even gave me advices when I told her that I had problems with my group assignment members. When I told her my sad story, she also felt sad which clearly showed in her facial expression and when I told her some of the jokes, she also became happy and showed me a happy smile and laugh in her face. By giving advices, smile and laugh, it made me so happy that she was listening and understanding of what I said. She really is a good listener.

2. Chatting with Fanny during the break time
After having a long lecture class in last Saturday, at last, I could have a break time during lunch time and was talking with Fanny, which is one of my best friends, after we had finished our lunch together. I was telling her about the Panama paper because it is a trading topic right now. I was very excited about that news and not only that, I could see that she made her eyes bigger than usual which showed that she was excited by the topic. I started to say that there was data leakage about Panama paper. She asked how the data can be leaked and who hack the data so that all people can access the data. From the questions that she asked me, showed that she was listening to what I told her. I continued to answer her questions and opened a website which show the information about Panama paper. Because of the high curiosity, I started to searching if there was Medanese people invested in Panama. On the website, we could search many people’s names included the name of the government officers in Indonesia, well-known business men in Indonesia such as Riady family and other person’s name from all around the world. In the information, we could know the identity of the investor likes the name, palace of birth, address and the name of the company in Panama. When she looked at the information, unconsciously she dropped-jaw and it is kind funny for me. When I asked some of the names that I don’t recognize, she answered in very detailed information and kept her eye contact with me. Sometimes, when I asked quiet difficult questions, she would stroke the chin and answered carefully. I am so happy that my best friend is actually a good listener. She will think carefully before answering every question that I asked her and always keep eye contact with me in every conversation that we had.

3. Chatting with dad before went to sleep
Every night before I went to sleep, I always have some chat with my dad. Last night, my father and I were talking about the new Fortuner. I told my father that the New Fortuner was very eye catching. My father just looked at me and kept staring at me. I continued to say that the design of the car’s body was very elegant. My father just nodded his head and said that the interior was looked sporty. Not only that, he was also leaning forward while listening and quickly tilting his head, which showed that he was interested with what I said. I told him that the New Fortuner has upgraded the technology. My father was furrowing the brow which told me unconsciously that he was curious and then asked me what the improvement was. When I answered his question, he sat with legs apart and had a one-sided tilt head. From my opinion, my father felt excited. To have a good listener dad is my fortune.

Bad Listener: 1. When my friend vented with me
I remembered the day when one of my friends suddenly came to my house and it made me surprised. I do not want to say who is she, but I will call her “X”. I saw her face was full of tears and had swollen eyes. After that, she told all her story and wanted me to give some advices. Because I have a straight forward personality, I frankly gave her my advices. In her story, she was the guilty one. So, I was angry with her because she didn’t feel that she was wrong. But when I was telling some advices to her, she just looked away and had a blank stare. Not only that, she also drummed the table with her finger and put up her chin. When I saw the way she reacted, I stopped my advice for a while. And then, I asked her whether she wanted to hear my advices. She just nodded her head. I continued with the advices and she put her hand on cheek and had absent minded. Not only that, she also played with her mobile phone and had a small laugh when she read some messages. I felt annoyed that she didn’t listen properly. She was the one who asking for my advices but she didn’t pay attention to what I said.

2. Ordering food in one of the café in Medan
I remembered the day I was having my dinner in one of café in Lippo Plaza Medan. I don’t want to mention the café name, but the employees were bad listener. When I came into the café, I called one of the employees to take my order. But, both of employees were talking with each other. Because I thought that my voice was too small, then I called one of them louder and even the beside table also stared at me. But, unexpectedly, both of the employees didn’t care me and they continued their conversation as nothing happened. Because I lost my patience, I approach one of the employees and told them my order. When I approached them, they stared at me like they wanted to eat me and had a frown face which showed that they were angry. When I told my order, they just unwillingly took my order. A minute later, one of those employees came to approach me and told me that my order wasn’t available. She actually took the wrong order. I thought I had clearly said to them. I told them not to take my order wrongly again. She sighed and fold her arms on her way back to cashier. I got annoyed with the way she told me. After 30 minutes later, my food came. With a big sighed, it wrongly ordered. I was very angry and went to meet both of the employees to rebuke them. One of the employee was just folding her arms and put up her chin. While the other was looking at her nails and tapping her foot. I really felt disappointed with them because they should be a good listener when the customer complained their mistake.

3. Having little conversation while waiting queue in Cinema
Two weeks ago, my friend, Sunny, and I were queuing in the cinema to buy tickets. Unexpectedly, there was a very long queue. Both of us just kept talking with each other while queuing. Sometimes, when I was talking with her, she had an absent eye contact. I didn’t know whether she heard me or not. I kept talking to her and she was folding her arms and tapping her feet. Not only that, when I asked her opinion, she just kept silent. Thus, I asked her again the same question. I found her surprised and asked me back what question I asked. Sometimes, during the conversation, she sang a song with a small voice and yawned incessantly which showed me that she felt bored. I tried to make her as comfortable as possible, therefore I tried to tell some jokes and she responded with a twisted smile. She also liked to look at her watch or her nails and look around frequently while I was standing beside her. I felt very annoyed with her attitude. Don’t listen to what your friend was telling is a rude manner. The reason why I kept starting the conversation was because I was bored and I knew she also felt bored. By neglected your friend like that is not a polite attitude.

Conclusion
There are many ways to determine whether the one that you are speaking with is a good listener or a bad listener. Body language, gesture, posture and facial expression were the ways that I use to evaluate my speaking partner. Some of the characteristics to be a good listener was keeping the eye contact, understanding what the speaker tried to convey and keeping the track with the speaker. To be a good listener is actually not an easy as turning the palm of the hand. However, if there isn’t any people hear you, then you will feel angry and pity for yourself and it doesn’t feel good.

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