I was feeling great. I’ve been working for this for seven years, I confidently walked out of the school with a smile on my face and holding my masters degree in my right hand. Thinking to myself, I can finally become an oncology nurse! As I was opening the car door my head started throbbing with pain. I’ve been feeling this for the past couple of days, but it hasn’t felt anything like this, this is the first time it really started hurting. I decided to sit down in my car for a while to wait till it felt better, I ended up waiting for 30 minutes.
As I drove off, I felt the headache coming back again, I had to pull over and stop. I needed to get it together and hurry to dinner! My boyfriend, Brandon and I were supposed to meet at Asiana’s for …show more content…
I didn’t want to find out that I had cancer, I couldn't think positive. I forced myself to walk in, trying to control myself from panicking. When I heard the doctor say, “Rachel, we are ready for you.” I thought to myself this could be it, this day could either change my life in a negative way or I’ll walk out of this hospital relieved.
As I was sitting in the doctor room she was doing all these sorts of tests on me, I was worried as heck. Like at the doctor's office she told me to go wait into the lounge. Waiting in for her to come out had to have been the longest ten minutes of my life. My hands were sweating and I was just closing my eyes, praying for good news. I heard the footsteps of her shoes approaching so I slowly opened my eyes seeing a face that made me think it wasn’t going to be good news. Feelingly she said, “ I’m sorry Ms. Taylor but we have found leukemia in some of the bones of your body. I’m truly sorry.”
I couldn't speak, the words couldn’t come out, a tear shredded out of my eye. There was nothing I could do or say to make this go away. So I got up still not really processing what I just heard and walked to my car thinking, I have to come here everyday for work and see the chair in the lounge where I heard the worst news of my …show more content…
He took my other hand. We just sat there in silence. Things are just getting worse and worse. “ If things keep going the way they are, you are only going to have weeks to live. No, no, no he did not just say that this is not happening. Tears now pouring out of my eyes I was saying, “ The whole reason I became an oncology nurse was to help people with their cancer because of my dad. My dad died of cancer when I was 12. Wiping the tears away, my mom is going to have no one. She is going to be alone, she doesn’t deserve this. He said, “ neither do you Rachel.” I think I’ve had enough for tonight, I said. Getting up and starting to walk away, he grabbed my hand and pulled me back.” I can’t let you go, I don’t want to lose you. Rachel, I love you. My tears turned into happy tears, I didn’t need to say anything, I just hugged him. Nothing had to be said, we both knew I wasn’t going to beat this cancer. But the thing is he still loved me even though he knew it was going to be weeks till I died. He wasn’t like Brandon who didn’t want to stand by my side and help me through my cancer. That is what made me say yes when he offered to drive me home. The car ride was silent, nothing had to be said. Laying in bed that night, I was thinking the treatment is not successful so what is the point of keep doing the cancer treatment if I am going to die soon anyways?The next day at the hospital, I did something