Kylie Belleville Bancroft
English 121 20 September 2014 Perceptual Visualization The first photograph ever taken was taken by a man named Joseph Nicéphore Niépce sometime in 1826 or 1827. The photograph is very faint, but it is the outline of the view from a window on his estate. It reoccurs to many a common question. Why did he take this photograph, and what did it mean to him? Numerous individuals have photographs that they hold very dearly. As we look at a photograph we take the aspects of it that we are familiar with and portray that photo in our own way, even though the picture is right there in front of us we use our feelings to paint a new picture in our mind. Set two people down and ask them what they see in a picture of say a dog. One person may look for familiarity, say a pet they or a friend have had. The other person however, may see something totally different and get a feeling; whether it be despair, hate, happiness, love, etc. There are limitless possibilities for what people distinguish in a photograph but everyone sees it in their own unique way. I regard photos of my father in a very distinctive way. I didn’t have my father for long, and pictures are all I have left of him. I construe those photographs as a connection to something I’ve lost, a token of my father that gives me sentiments no one else will receive when looking at the same photograph. Anyone else would look at this picture and think this is just a photograph of a simple and happy man. They may see someone else in him, possibly a look-a-like, but no one else feels the sorrow or anguish that I have with this particular man. When I look at pictures of my father I see myself to an exact point, I am literally my father made over. I also see loss, I see my separate families, and I see things that could have been. On the other hand, I see what caused me to grow up living a normal life with my stepfather and half-sisters without knowing of my real father and his doings. I see what gave me the strength I have now, and I see hope that one day I will return to him on a spiritual level. These emotions are something that no other human being will ever feel the same way about as me. My mother may have some similar feelings when looking at the photo, but she will never see it exactly as I do. These emotions are direct feelings that I get from my father, and it all comes out in a photo. Of all the pictures I have of my dad, the one I love the most is the one I can really tell he loves me in. We were at my Nana Kay’s house for my first birthday, sitting at the kitchen table. There’s a cake sitting on the table, the living room behind us. My father is holding me, and looking at me. This photo really makes me feel like were the only two people in the world in that moment. The look on his face shows happiness, gratification, and excitement. Of course my face showed no emotion, I was never much for facial expressions or words as a child. This picture is one of the very few that I have, and it really gives me connection to my dad. My mom on the other hand, enjoys the picture we have of the very first time he held me. She thinks it’s where he changed his mind about wanting me, but I think it shows fear in my father. Of course, my mom knew my dad for quite a while, when I never did, so I really wouldn’t know what he felt in that moment, but it’s my perception of the pictures I have. A photograph, is not always just a picture of a person, a place, or a thing. A photograph can be a feeling, a connection, or a pain. A photograph is a physical form of a memory. Of course, we can take mental pictures, but over time that picture is going to change. It won’t stay the same way, our mind will modify and move things according to how we saw it. An actual picture doesn’t change. It will give you the feelings you had when it was taken, or it will connect you to a feeling you had in relation to the photo. I almost see a picture as a kaleidoscope, a complex pattern. Like the photographs I have of my father, it causes me many mixed emotions. One picture makes me feel like he loved and adored me for the time we had together and another makes me feel that he may not want any part of my life. When looking through a kaleidoscope, we see many different shapes, objects, and colors. When looking at a photo, we get many different feelings, memories, and ideas. As we observe a photograph we yield the pieces we are accustomed to and render it in our own way, even though that picture doesn’t become altered, we all paint our own mental picture with the feelings it gives us.

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