Improving Relationships
Forgiving Our Debtors
September 30, 2012
Sciotoville Christian Church

FORGIVING OUR DEBTORS
Matthew 18:23-35
Introduction
A. Have you ever prayed? “Forgive us our debts as we forgiver our debtors?” 1. Who are our debtors? a. Father who robbed us of happiness b. Repairman who cheated and lied to us c. Coach who didn’t play us d. Boss who overlooked us e. Church member who started a false rumor about us f. Relative who abused us g. Friend who cheated us h. Spouse who has been unfaithful to us
B. These people owe us. 1. Apology 2. Money 3. Second chance 4. Explanation 5. Thank you 6. Childhood 7. Marriage * Lynn Anderson, preacher in Texas, tells how ugly things became when his daughter inlaw was having a nasty and popular affair in town. He said that he would carry a knife with him in hoping to see the man who tried to steal her from his son.

C. What are we going to say to these people? 1. Important question? Do we really mean it when we say… “Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors”

Matthew 18:21-22 1. Do you think Peter had someone in mind? 2. Was he trying to be self-righteous? (Forgive 3 times after that you were justified)

I) THE DIFFICULTY OF FORGIVENESS 1. What is forgiveness? a. Giving up my right to retaliate and agreeing to live with the consequences of others wrongs. b. Why is this so hard for us to do?

2. This violates human nature c. We want to see justice, we want the score evened d. If someone hurts us then they should be hurt in return * Jeannie Brooks was a student in dental school. A man hits her car and does nothing about it. 10 years later he comes to her as a patient in her office. She remembered he didn’t. she told him to have a seat and this won’t hurt a bit. e. We like the OT law – tooth for a tooth

3. This is a life long struggle of daily discipline. f. We say we forgive but little things just pop up to remind us of our hurt.

1 Kings 2:8-11 - "And remember, you have with you Shimei son of Gera, the Benjamite from Bahurim, who called down bitter curses on me the day I went to Mahanaim. When he came down to meet me at the Jordan, I swore to him by the Lord: 'I will not put you to death by the sword.' But now, do not consider him innocent. You are a man of wisdom; you will know what to do to him. Bring his gray head down to the grave in blood." Then David rested with his fathers and was buried in the City of David. * People who know they have been forgiven are easier to give forgiveness

II) WHAT IS OUR MOTIVATION FOR FORGIVENESS? 1. The man in the parable owed an astronomical debt – vs. 23-25 a. 10,000 talents were more revenue than the entire Roman Empire b. The highest number in the Roman counting system (zillion) c. A loan defaulter was usually cast into a debtors prision d. The desperate man pleaded for mercy – vs. 26 e. This would take him at average wage – 80,000 years f. IMPOSSIBLE – but he wanted to stay out of prision g. The King canceled the debt – vs. 27

2. Look now what happened – vs. 28- 30 a. Within minutes someone who owed much less begged him for forgiveness and he refused b. RIDICULOUS c. The King then responded with discipline – vs. 31-34

3. Our main motivation for forgiveness – GOD”S GRACE! a. My sins are astronomical b. God expects me to forgive others

Col 3:13 - Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Ps 103:12 - as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

1 Cor 13:5-6 - It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

4. A high price has to be paid to get even. * Bear eating scraps at a picnic, along comes a skunk, the bear knows he could easily kill the skunk, but he also knows there is a high cost to getting even.

III) THE MEANS OF FORGIVENESS 1. 5 mistaken ideas about forgiveness (1) Time heals all wounds – right decisions heals wounds (2) I must deny hurt when I forgive (3) Forgiveness means I must verbalize it to others (4) Forgiveness and trust are the same thing (5) To forgive is to forget – you choose… a. I will no longer dwell on this incident b. I will not bring it up and use it against you c. I will not talk to others about this incident d. I will not allow this to hinder our relationship

2. How do we do this? (1) Will to forgive – many haven’t forgiven because they don’t want to forgive. (2) Trust God’s Justice
Ps 109:1-15 - O God, whom I praise, do not remain silent, for wicked and deceitful men have opened their mouths against me; they have spoken against me with lying tongues. With words of hatred they surround me; they attack me without cause. In return for my friendship they accuse me, but I am a man of prayer. They repay me evil for good, and hatred for my friendship. Appoint an evil man to oppose him; let an accuser stand at his right hand. When he is tried, let him be found guilty, and may his prayers condemn him. May his days be few; may another take his place of leadership. May his children be fatherless and his wife a widow. May his children be wandering beggars; may they be driven from their ruined homes. May a creditor seize all he has; may strangers plunder the fruits of his labor. May no one extend kindness to him or take pity on his fatherless children. May his descendants be cut off, their names blotted out from the next generation. May the iniquity of his fathers be remembered before the Lord; may the sin of his mother never be blotted out .May their sins always remain before the Lord, that he may cut off the memory of them from the earth. (3) Express kindness to the offender

Conclusion – We are most like beast when we kill, we are most like men when we judge, we are most like God when we forgive.