It was only a few days before receiving this assignment that both my children (seven, and eight years old) came home from school with negative reports informing me about performance delays, behavior concerns, and daily mishaps in the classroom. As a concerned parent, I decided to restrict them to their rooms, take away all forms of entertainment (i.e. games, movies, or tablets) for two weeks, and ordered an earlier bedtime. With tears pouring down their young faces and a plethora of apologetic promises, my children began to scream like Patrick Henry “give me liberty or give me death.” In retrospect, after reading the articles from Amy Chua and Hanna Rosin (two polar opposites with controversial cultural distinctions on how to raise and discipline a child) it would be an honest assessment that
(figuratively speaking) I gave my boys both “liberty and death.”
Amy Chuna, a Chinese mother raising two daughters Sophia and Louisa, holds a traditionally strict parenting style. Within her Asian household, Amy focuses on the success and discipline of her children, raising them on an ancient Chinese philosophical idea that “nothing is fun until you are good at it” and “happiness comes from mastery” (Chua, 2011). According to Chua, her daughter were “never allowed to attend sleepover[s], have a playdate, be in a school play, watch TV, play computer games, or get any grade other than an A” (2011). Chuna’s beliefs for an overzealous discipline, combined with extremely high expectations, will bring preparation and protection to her children’s success in life and ultimately, if her children were not receiving top scores in every subject, then it was her fault (or the parent’s fault). Chuna’s further believes that the parents of western cultures are not tough enough on their children and feels they do not properly prepare their children for the real world.
On the other hand, Hanna Rosin holds a much different perspective. As a mother raising three children (Jacob, Gideon, and Noah), Rosin holds what she considers to be a “stress-free” western parenting style. In her approach, she sets much lighter limits that help to allow her children to develop and grow with fewer structured routines. Her relaxed methods allows Jacob, Gideon, and Noah to make their own individualized decision on which sports to pick, clubs to join, and instruments to choose from- based on their own desires.
Hanna Rosin, a tough critic of Amy Chuna, believes that the value of nurturing a child with motivation and affection (rather than discipline and rejection) will produce more success and generate a higher self-esteem for both the parents and the child. Hanna’s main focus appears to be that unlike Amy’s belief, happiness does not come from mastery but instead comes from within oneself. She feels a person who is forced to love something will ultimately create resentment and not love. Moreover, Rosin’s vision is that the world it is not perfect, so we should have a modest acceptance to things.
In comparison, both mothers indisputably want what is best for their children. While Chuna takes a much more sophisticated approach to learning, Rosin chooses to raise her children in a much more relaxed view. Both mothers have major cultural difference and perspectives and base their concepts solely on their own philosophical beliefs. Similarly, both mothers also feel their parenting style is supported within their culture’s morals and ethical values.
In contrast, there are vast differences between both mother’s parenting style. For instance, Hanna Rosin will play board games with her children and lets them win. Amy Chua on the other hand takes an inferior role to her child that would never allow a giveaway defeat. In a second example, Hanna Rosin allows her son to play the drums an instrument that Amy Chua discourages and believes that it promotes drug use. Finally in a third example, Hanna Rosin’s style of parenting is concerned for the self-esteem and psyches of the child, Amy Chua’s approach does not. In summary, neither of the mother’s parenting style can predict the future. Children are not computers that you program. Children are young innocent minds with diverse individual needs so an adaptive parenting style should always be used. Parents from all cultures should understand what works for one child may not work for the other. The outcome from too much parenting or too little parenting can lead to resentment, loss of control, or rebellious behavior. For a sport that he has mastered which by Chinese customs should bring him happiness. This can be an example of contradiction or a reinforcing statement that discipline pays (literally) in the end. Moreover, it has been said that it’s lonely at the top but what about the bottom? In hindsight not every child who is forced to practice its instrument or sports vigorously will make it to the likes of Andre Agassi. Knowing the odds are already against your child is it fair to force them into a life that you decide and create for them only to be let down at some point or is it your job as a parent to push your child until they exceed their own potential and truly separate themselves from their peers. As Andre Agassi says, “I hate tennis…with a dark and secret passion, and always have.” I would like to end this assignment with a quote from Andre Agassi "I hate tennis," "Open," "hate it with a dark and secret passion, and always have." This comes from the Hall of Fame and arguably the world’s best men’s tennis champion of all time. Andre Agassi was a child prodigy that was forced to spend hours practicing his game daily. In conclusion I would like to end this assignment with a quote from Andre Agassi "I hate tennis," "Open," "hate it with a dark and secret passion, and always have." This comes from the Hall of Fame and arguably the world’s best men’s tennis champion of all time. Andre Agassi was a child prodigy that (in a Amy Chua’s style of discipline) was forced into to spending hours practicing his game daily. The outcome is a resentment for a sport that he has mastered which by Chinese customs should bring him happiness. This can be an example of contradiction or a reinforcing statement that discipline pays (literally) in the end. Moreover, it has been said that it’s lonely at the top but what about the bottom? In hindsight not every child who is forced to practice its instrument or sports vigorously will make it to the likes of Andre Agassi. Knowing the odds are already against your child is it fair to force them into a life that you decide and create for them only to be let down at some point or is it your job as a parent to push your child until they exceed their own potential and truly separate themselves from their peers.