The View of College Students on Love

Abstract
Love has been the noticeable problem of college students in modern times. The sense of loneliness and freedom of living in different places lead the college students to fall in love in an earlier age. These years, with the invasion of western sexual liberalism, our sense of morality has been faced with big challenges. At the same time, free access to the Internet causes misunderstanding and wrong realization on love, which lead them to get lost in it. This paper introduces an investigation on the theme in detail.

Key Words college students; love; view; research;

Analysis of the problems
1. Respondent part
We uploaded our questions to a Questionnaire website, then sent messages to our middle school friends and college mates to request for filling it out. During a month’s time, about 200 people filled it out. We gathered the answers together, and made them into pie charts.
The respondents include freshmen, sophomores, juniors and seniors. Roughly estimated, 2/3 of the respondents are freshmen. The colleges include Shanghai Jiaotong University, Shanghai Fudan University, Tongji University, Shanghai International Studies University, South China Normal University, Shanghai University, etc. Their majors range from arts & literature to science & engineering.

2. Questionnaire part
Part 1 Relationship Status

1. Are you single now？
A) Yes B) No

From this pie chart, we can see that half of the respondents are now in a relationship, while the other half are not. Considering the fact that the majority of the respondents are freshmen, the 50 to 50 balance is likely to be broken as time goes by. According to experience, the percentage of students in relationships will grow when they become sophomores, juniors or seniors.

2. How many times have you ever been in love？
A) 0 B) 1~2 C) 3~5 D) over 5 times

Only 10% respondents haven’t ever been in love. Combined with the chart above, we can draw a conclusion that at least 40% respondents have experience of breaking up.
70% respondents have ever been in love for 1 or 2 times, it is quite rational. But 20% says that they’ve been in a relationship for 3 to 5 times, that is not a small number. We used to believe that only Americans and westerners change their partners frequently, but now it seems that we have to face the fact——some of the Chinese students are no less open than them.

3. Usually, what kind of people are likely to become your lovers？
A) Schoolmates or classmates B) Those who introduced by parents or friends
C) Social people D) Others

A proportion of 80% says that schoolmates or classmates are more likely to become their lovers. Since they’re all students, this choice is reasonable. And also, age and time is another reason. College students don’t have much time and chance to meet people other than schoolmates, that’s why only 20% respondents give other choices. Club activities provide college students chances to meet different schoolmates and time to get along with them. And of course, people of same age and group are more likely to have good impression on each other.

4. How much time do you spend with your lovers every day？
A) 1~2 hours B) 2~5 hours C) 5~8 hours D) over 8 hours

Up to 90% respondents say that they spend 1 to 2 hours with their loves every day, and the option of 2 to 5 hours accounts for 10%. We didn’t make it clear the definition of “spend with” actually, and this might have caused misunderstanding. We defined “spend with” as a kind of company, including text messages, phone calls, online chatting, e-mails and staying together. Most of the respondent regard the “spend with” as only staying together, which is found out after questioning some of them. So the answer of this question isn’t worth analyzing because respondents’ understanding of the question disaccorded.

5. How much do you spend on your boy/girlfriend every month？
A) 0~200 RMB B) 200~500 RMB
C) 500~1000 RMB D) over 1000 RMB

Half of the respondents spend 0 to 200 RMB on their boy/girlfriends every month. (We made it clear in the questionnaire that those don’t have a partner can skip this question.) 40% percent of the respondents spend 200 to 500 RMB on their boy/girlfriend every month, and the option of 500 to 1000 RMB counts for 10%.
According to experience, the average living expenses of college students in Shanghai is about 800 to 1200. A reasonable amount to spend on boy/girlfriend should be 200 to 400 RMB, still quite a lot of students spend beyond range. We can see that keeping a relationship exerts pressure on most college students’ living standard.

6. Which step now？（Or ever had）
A) hand in hand B) hug C) kiss D) edge sexual behavior E) sexual behavior F) nothing

According to the statics, half of the respondents have ever had ever sexual behaviors, and none of them has had sexual behavior. With the increasing openness of society, young people no longer cling to the issue of virginity as our previous generations used to be. But it’s weird that none of the respondents admitted that they’ve ever had sex, the happening of which can definitely not be zero. We consider it a kind of lies——in fear of being criticized by the society. Young people nowadays are far less conservative than the previous generation, but they are still afraid of the pressure from them.

Part 2 basic views
7. Do you consider it ok for university students to fall in love?
A) Yes. B) No. C) It doesn’t matter.

8. Why do you start a relationship in university?
A) I want to prepare for future marriage. B) I’m just following the trend
C) I just feel lonely and want to have some fun in it. D) Others

According to the pie chart, the option of “I just feel lonely and want to have some fun in it” takes the lead at a proportion of 40%, while the option of “I want to prepare for future marriage” ccounts for 20%. Quite a lot of college students don’t take their relationships seriously. Honestly, they’re just playing the fields. But those who are considering getting married also exist.

9. What’s the most important aspect when you judge your partner？
A) Figure and appearance. B) Capability and study C) Character and interests
D) Economic conditions E) Character accomplishment F) Others

“Character accomplishment” and “Character and interests” take the lead at percentages of 50% and 40%. These two options are considered the features of college love. On the one hand, in most cases, students fall in love with someone just out of feelings. They don’t care too much about the economic conditions and social status, the love is often pure and simple. On the other hand, after graduation, people will have to face the stress of life. Some graduates will realize that finding someone with good economic conditions is a effective way to make life easier. Then their relationship started in college will become frail and vulnerable.
Nowadays, many graduates can’t help but get lost in the material society. Intentionally or unintentionally, they’re killing the purest and simplest relationship in their life ever. We can’t blame them on it because every body has the right to choose a life, but we still hope that it won’t happen to us selves. Breaking up after graduation means surrendering to the reality, and that’s the least what we want to do.

11. What do you think of cheating in a relationship？
A) Unforgivable B) Understandable
C) It doesn’t matter. D) Others

The option “Unforgivable” wins with the majority of 70%. The 20% respondents who chose “Understandable” are likely to have cheating experience. They think that cheating doesn’t always mean immoral, the disloyalty can somehow show the problem in the relationship——the girl/boyfriend isn’t considerate, character conflicts or something.

12. What do you think of premarital sex？
A) It’s ok B) It’s wrong C) Whatever

The option of “Ok” and “Wrong” hit tie, both counts for 30%. Premarital sex presents a dilemma for young people, especially young women, in contemporarily China. On the one hand, Chinese society, which is still traditional, places a high value on female virginity and denounces premarital sex. On the other hand, the new idea of romantic love and the growing social acceptance of close interactions between women and men provide young people with more opportunities to explore both love and sex.
As in most societies, virginity in China is only a concern for women. The traditional insistence on female virginity is an important social norm, which controls the behaviors of women. Although there is no religious tradition to inhabit sexual behavior, the traditional emphasis on harmony does create a strong sense of social and moral controls in Chinese culture. The value placed on virginity serves more as a moral yardstick than a self-evaluation of one’s own morality: loss of virginity causes no guilt to the individual, but, instead, dishonors a community, the bride’s family. Thus, Chinese women fear the consequences of losing their virginity, not the act itself.
But for men, premarital sex can be listed as their most wanted thing. They don’t have worries about losing virginity because culture and society give them no burden or restraint on this issue. And also, most men get married at the age of 27 to 30, but they start to have sex drives at the age of 13 to 15. Men often find it harder to restrain sexual impulse than women, and the convenient access to the internet makes it even harder for them to resist the primal urges. So compared with women, men are more likely to have premarital sex——but that requires a women, and that often leads to dissensions in a relationship.

Part 3 Failures in love

13. What’s the main reason for breaking up？
A) Character conflict B) A third party C) Parents’ objection D) Others

The pie chart shows that most college students don’t put the blame on the third party when dealing with their breaking up. Instead of finding fault on other people, they intend to find mistakes with their own character conflicts.

17. How do you deal with those problems?
A) I can not solve them at all
B) Adjust myself
C) Hide the feelings, and never tell others
D) Do something else and try to divert the attention
E) Turn to friends for reassurance
F) Turn to professional psychological consultation
G) Others

“Do something else and try to divert the attention” and “Adjust myself” rank first at proportion of 27.8%. This indicates that most respondents choose to face the problems with optimistic attitude.
“Hide the feelings, and never tell others” counts for 11.11%, still quite a lot of people choose to face the agonies alone. There are some respondents say that they can’t solve them at all. These crowds may be not good at dealing with emotions.

Part 4 The other questions which aren’t analyzed

10. What's the relationship between love and study since you are a university student？
A) Love is more important. B) Study is more important.
C) They have mutual benefit D) There are nothing special between them.
E) Others

14. Have you ever got dumped?
A) Yes B) No

15. What's your reaction when your lover wants to leave you?
A) Sad and depressed
B) Seems no response, but refuse to admit that you’ve broken up
C) Just accept it.
D) Try to save him/her back
E) Have no idea about it.
D) Others.

16. What's the negative impact of breaking up？（You can choose more than one answer.）
A) Feel empty and lost
B) Soaked into the memories
C) Deny my individual values
D) Hate my ex
E) Lose confidence in love
F) Find life meaningless
G) Nothing special

Part 5 Write some opinions of yours in brief.
Answers (samples):
1) Love sucks.
2) Just be simple and not lost.
3) Eat pray love.
4) Love is beautiful.
5) Bear, bear!
6) Love is important!
7) There’s no need to expose the privacy in love to others.
8) Let nature takes it course.
9) Whatever I like is ok!