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Juanita W

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Submitted By CJUANITA0677
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Adolescence and Adulthood

Stage: (Trust)

I have always had an issue with trust when I was a little girl, at age 12 years old I and I still do at the age of 27 years old. There are always negative and positive things that are my outcome with trust and mistrust. I have fear of trust, because at the age of 12 years old I was raped by a 50 year old man. I am able to talk about it now because I gave all my pain to God and allowed him to fight my battles. 10 years ago I was not able to talk about what I am going through because I kept everything bottled up and it cause me a lot of hurt and pain. It was so bad that I did not what to live my life anymore but after having along talk with my God. I can truly say that I am thankful to be here, I am thankful for my daughter and my son that I lost and I know that all things happen for a reason. The things we go through is a test that God gives and it is up to us to past or fail that test. My grandmother always told your life is what you make me. Never understood what she meant until I may some mistakes in life and those mistakes woke me right up.

Give an example from your childhood and where you discovered your own role and personality traits.

An example of my childhood and where I discovered my own role of traits was when I was 15 years old, I remember seeing my parents fight a lot and they would always be so bitter to us and just to everybody really. It was really hard for me to see those things because I never seen it before because my grandmother was always with me and kept me close to her. I never understood why my grandmother kept me so close but as I got older she would talk to me and say remember all the things I did for you, I had to do this because God told me to help you and protect you. And this was when she became very sick. It really hurt my heart to talk about her because I miss her so much. But it’s okay. Atfer her telling me that I said grandma how could you protect me when you are gone. And she said because I won’t be gone, I always be in your heart. My heart and soul will always remain in you. I remember everything she taught me. She taught me how to clean, cook, put God first and mostly, she taught me how to love myself. She always told me to love myself first. I knew why she told me that…. It was because she already knew that I would have blamed myself for her death, and I did. I cried and cried and I thought to myself she wanted me to know that nothing that happened between my parents and her death was my fault. God I miss her and love her so much.

What peer pressure did you face? How did you feel about peer pressure?

With peer pressure I never really faced any because I never surrounded myself around negative things. I always remembered what my grandmother told me and I carried her heart with me. I do not really know what it is but it’s like some individuals feel that I am not approachable. And those that feel that way are the ones that smoke, drinks and do drugs. And to be honest I am glad I am not approachable to them. I do not need the negativity in my life.

Juanita Williams
CJuanita067@gmail.com
Eastern Time

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