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Interpersonal Attraction

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Interpersonal Attraction

Factors affecting attraction 1. Need for Affiliation 1. Evolution 1. Proximity 1. Emotion 1. Attractiveness 1. Similarity 1. Theories of Attraction

Evolution 1. It is adaptive – perpetuation of species 1. E.g. Men attractive due to wealth, power, social status – providers 1. Women attractive due to looks - fertility

Need for Affiliation

What is? • The motive to seek and maintain social relationships • Neurobiology Rowe (1996) – We’re born with it
Personality affects the need • Schizoid persons • Dismissive avoidant styles • Dependent persons
Situational Factors • Crisis situations increase the need for affiliation – natural disasters, reminders of mortality • Fear & affiliation – Strong correlation between fear & Need to Aff

Why Crises/Fear Lead to Need for Aff • Social Comparison Theory Festinger (1954) – We seek out others – To interpret our reactions – To find support for these actions – Under stress – we seek others to explain situation

Proximity
What is? • Liking for persons increases the more we see and interact with them • Races

Reason for Effect • Exposure

Festinger, Schacter & Back (1950) • Experiment tracking friendships among couples in apartment buildings • Couples randomly assigned to apts • Couples strangers on entry • Couples asked to name 3 closest friends • 65% chose friends in same building • Pattern of friendships within a building • 41% of next-door neighbors close friends • 22% of those living two doors down friends • Only 10% of those on opposite ends of hall friends

Types of situations in which relationships begin • Closed field situations – forced interaction amongst persons • Open field situations – interaction freely chosen

Propinquity and Computers • Research - Greater attraction amongst strangers meeting online than face to face o Fantasy? o Lying? • Online attraction determined by level and quality of conversation • Face to face interaction affected by attractiveness

Similarity and Attraction

Similarity-Dissimilarity Effect • Research suggests that people are attracted to those who are similar to themselves • Similarity needed to develop friendships/relationships

Theories Explaining Similarity

The Proportion of Similarity Byrne & Nelson (1965) • Developed formula to predict attraction • Number of topics on which two people express similar views divided by the total number of topics on which they have communicated • The higher the proportion of similarity the grater the liking

The Repulsion Hypothesis Rosenbaum (1986) • Disagrees with proportion of similarity • Similarity does not affect attraction • People repulsed by dissimilarity • Research disprove this hypo

Balance Theory Heider 1965, Newcombe 1961 • Two people like each other + find they’re similar = A state of balance • Balance feels good • Two people like each other + dissimilar to each other = Imbalance • Imbalance does not feel good • Two people dislike each other = Nonbalance

Evolution (Gould 1996) • Survival & reproduction best achieved by staying close to similar others

Similar Traits that Lead to Attraction • Shared opinions • Opposites & attraction • Birds of a feather do flock together • Physical appearance o Goffman (1952) similar levels of attractiveness develop close relationships • Personality o agreeableness, conscientiousness, extroversion, emotional stability, openness to experience • (Botwin, Buss, & Shackelford, 1997), and attachment style (Klohnen & Luo, 2003). • Interpersonal style o Dissimilar communication styles are frustrating o Dissimilar styles predictive of break-ups and divorce • Demographics o Social and cultural background o Similar economic backgrounds • Theodore Newcomb (1961) – college roommates with shared background, majors, attitudes, values, and political views became friends • Interests/Activities and Experiences o Situations that you choose to be in also frequented by like minded people o It difficult to maintain relationships with dissimilar persons • Social skills

Committed Relationships • In committed relationships we choose a similar partner o Marriage o Business

Reciprocity and Attraction

How it Works • We like people who like us • But when an initial dislike in the liker changes to liking this is more valued than a uniformly positive attitude

Reciprocity and Negative Self Esteem • People with low self esteem prefer to meet people who earlier criticized them rather than person who praised them earlier • Persons feeling unlovable don’t expect friendly behaviour • Result = self fulfilling prophecy

Reciprocity in disclosure • To build relationship disclosing info to each other needed • Without reciprocal sharing no relationship • Reciprocal disclosure builds trust • Must be a balance in disclosure

Attractiveness and Attraction
Physical Attractiveness • Attractiveness influences attraction • Some traits are cross cultural, some culture specific • Physical attractiveness is associated with other good qualities

Physical attractiveness and gender • Men more than women claim that physical attractiveness is important in choosing friend, date, mate • In actual behaviour men and women make dating choices based on attractiveness

The Matching Hypothesis • People want to date the most attractive people, but actual choice = similar level of attractiveness

Attractiveness and the human face • Consensus across cultures about facial traits that are attractive

Attractiveness in females • Large eyes • Small nose • Small chin • Prominent cheekbones • Narrow cheeks • High eyebrows • Large pupils • Big smile

Attractiveness in Males • Large eyes • Prominent cheekbones • Large chin • Big smile

Assumptions about Attractive People
“What is beautiful is good stereotype” – Sociable – Extraverted – Popular – Sexual – Happy – Assertive

Is the Stereotype True • The attractive have good social skills • Self-fulfilling prophecy

Familiarity and Interpersonal Attraction

The Mere Exposure Effect Zajonc (1968) • The more we exposed to a stimulus the more we like it • If stimulus is mildly negative, neutral, or positive • Reason o We at least mildly discomfited by the new o Repeated exposure leads to increase in positive emotions o Exposure enhances attraction o As people get to know each other they respond more favourably to each other

Affect/emotion and Attraction

Reinforcement-affect model - Byrne & Clore • Social interactions experienced as rewarding elicit positive feelings • Social interactions experienced as punishing lead to negative feelings • When another person elicits a positive emotion that person is liked • When a person elicits a negative emotion that person is disliked • Based on learning theory

The Associated Effect of emotions on Attraction • Classical conditioning • When a neutral person is present at the same time that emotion is aroused, the neutral person becomes associated with the emotion • The neutral person is then liked or disliked • Neutral stimulus paired with a positive stimulus = liking • Neutral stimulus paired with negative stimulus = not liked • This process often out of awareness

Laughter and Liking • Sharing humorous experience increases likelihood of a pleasant interaction • Laughter strengthens bonds

Some Psychological Reasons for Attraction • Often ucs • Are not accidental • Repetition compulsion • Attachment – secure and insecure attachment • Ability to trust • Self esteem • Early relationships with siblings and parents

Theories of Attraction

Social Exchange Theory • Feelings about a relationship are dependent on – Perceptions re rewards & costs – The kind of relationship one deserves – Chances of having a better relationship elsewhere

Social Exchange Theory - Homans (1961) • Social interaction based on people exchanging valued commodities • Once a valued commodity is exchanged recipient feel pressure to reciprocate • People seek reinforcement/rewards in relationships • A relationship is more highly valued when rewards outweigh costs • Foa & Foa (1974) Six basic types of rewards Love Money Status Goods Services Information Summary of Exchange Theory We buy the best relationship we can get o Attraction & relationships affected by ▪ Rewards ▪ Costs – the downside of any relationships ▪ Comparison

Equity Theory • People happiest in relationships where – Is equity between rewards & costs – Is equity between contributions • Rules governing exchanges – “Relative needs” rule ▪ To each according to his needs – Equality rule – equal shares – Equity rule ▪ Whether share of rewards is proportional to contributions or costs ▪ Person who gives the most should receive the most – Kidder, Fagan & Cohn (1981) ▪ If a relationship is inequitable, one or both members will seek to restore equity

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