Generation Me:
Has the Self-Esteem Movement Resulted in Unrealistic Expectations for Success?

Jean M. Twenge argues that those born after 1970 “are more confident, assertive, entitled – and more miserable than ever before” (Twenge, 2006). Is this true? How did this happen? And why does it matter?
Everyone was born into a generation. Some people accept it, while others prefer not to be branded into stereotypes. But regardless of whether you have warmed up to the label, the generation that you were born into influences the culture that you will experience, from pop culture and social trends, to world events, economics, and value systems. Twenge (2006) considers anyone born between 1970 and 2000 to be members of “Generation Me” or “GenMe”.
From the time people in this generation were born, we have been told our parents, grandparents, teachers, and even our favourite television personalities that we are all unique and special. We have been raised to believe that everyone should have a high self-esteem. “When the Baby Boomers became parents, there began a society-wide effort to increase children’s self-esteem” (Twenge, 2006). Parents are encouraged to raise their children’s’ self-esteem even when kids are completing basic activities, such as simply colouring. Many schools have specific programs designed to build children’s’ self-esteem. In fact, a quick internet search shows that the mission statements of many schools openly declare that it is their duty to raise students’ self-esteem:
“We celebrate the pursuit of lifelong learning and are committed to nurturing high self-esteem”.
“Our mission is to provide a joyful learning provide a joyful learning environment that empowers children to reach their educational and personal potential while nurturing their self-confidence and self-esteem”.
“We are committed to developing students with high self-esteem who feel good about themselves”.
Some notable measures that schools have taken to improve self-esteem of their pupils include replacing the letter grading system (A, B, C, and D) with numerical levels (4, 3, 2, and 1). This supposedly removes the stigma attached to a child who receives Cs and Ds in school. Also, it is becoming increasingly rare for a child to repeat a grade in elementary school. Children are being promoted to the next class, regardless of whether they have mastered the curriculum material for the previous grade so that they feel good about their achievements, which in reality, gives a false sense of accomplishment (Seligman, 2009).
On the surface, a commitment to developing children’s self-esteem sounds like a positive and productive mission. However, most of these programs encourage children to feel good about themselves ‘just because’. This version of self-esteem is based on being special just because you exist, not because you have worked hard and should feel good about your efforts. As John Hewitt points out in The Myth of Self-Esteem, this sends a message that self-esteem can and should be taught. When self-esteem programs are used, Hewitt notes, children are “encouraged to believe that it is acceptable and desirable to be preoccupied with oneself [and] praise oneself” (Hewitt, 2009).
What kind of young people does this produce? Many teachers and social observers say it results in kids who cannot accept criticism and who feel a sense of entitlement for no particular reason (Twenge, 2006). Young people who have high self-esteem built on shaky foundations are likely to encounter some trouble when they experience the harsh realities of the world. Children who are given high grades without merit and passed onto the next grade when they have not learned the material will later find out in college or the workforce that they don’t know much at all. And what will that do to their self-esteem, or more importantly, their careers? Unlike primary and secondary school teachers, most bosses do not care about preserving anyone’s high self-esteem.
But even before they enter the workforce, Generation Me has been taught that we should strive to do whatever makes us happy (Hewitt, 2009). This is perhaps the social trend that best summarizes Generation Me: do what makes you happy, and don’t worry about what other people think. It is very different from the decades of the past, where people did what they had to do in order to make a living and provide from their families, and it is a philosophy which GenMe’s are arguably taking too far.
When choosing career paths, young adults are now looking for fulfilling careers which will allow us to follow our dreams and feel good about what we’ve accomplished in a day’s work. Thomas Barlow of the Financial Times writes, “the idea has grown up, in recent years, that work should not be just a way to make money, support a family, or gain social prestige, but should provide a rich and fulfilling experience in and of itself. Jobs are no longer just jobs; they are lifestyle options” (Barlow, 2009).
We are looking for prestigious careers. Seventy percent of late 1990s high school students expected to work in professional jobs, compared to 42% in the 1960s (Twenge, 2006). Unfortunately, these aspirations surpass the need for professionals in the future. In The Ambitious Generation, sociologists Barbara Schneider and David Stevenson label these “misaligned ambitions” (Schneider, 1999). In other words, GenMe’s have learned the lesson that you can be whatever you want to be a little too well, as there probably will not be enough desirable jobs for everyone to be whatever they want to be.
And in reality, who really dreams of being a trash collector, a custodian, or a taxi driver? These are all essential jobs that our society has become accustomed to relying upon, but if we are all striving to follow our dreams and not settling for less, where will we ever get people to fill those jobs?
GenMe’s also expect to make a lot of money. In 1999, teens predicted that they would be earning, on average, $75,000 a year by the time they were 30 years old. The average income of a 30-year-old that same year was only $27,000 (Twenge, 2006).
Following your dreams sounds like a good principle until you realize that achieving them is not, for most of us, a matter of being in the right place at the right time. People who love their work do not sit around waiting to get lucky. Sometimes they happen to be in the right place to take advantage of an opportunity. More often, however, they take the initiative to put themselves in the right place so they can create their own opportunities.
As we continue to enter the workforce, GenMe’s are challenging companies’ management tactics. Martha Irvine, a writer for AP National WriterSun, expresses that “deserved or not, this latest generation is being pegged... as one with shockingly high expectations for salary, job flexibility and duties but little willingness to take on grunt work or remain loyal to a company” (Irvine, 2005). Dr. Mel Levine, a professor at the University of North Carolina, notes “we’re seeing an epidemic of people who are having a hard time making the transition to work – kids who had too much success early in life and who’ve become accustomed to instant gratification” (Levine, 2005). Levine observes that GenMe’s want and expect everything that the 20- or 30-year veteran has the first week that they are on the job.
Bruce Tulgan, who studies the lives of young people, believes that this generation “has been pampered, nurtured, and programmed with a slew of activities since they were toddlers, meaning they are both high performance and high maintenance”. (Armour, 2005).
Adding to this topic, Jordan Kaplan believes the following:
Generation Y is much less likely to respond to the traditional command-and-control type of management still popular in much of today’s workforce. They’ve grown up questioning their parents, and now they’re questioning their employers. They don’t know how to shut up, which is great, but that’s aggravating to the 50-year-old manager who says, ‘Do it and do it now’. (Kaplan, 2006).
So what does all this mean? It is suggested that we forget about self-esteem and concentrate more on self-control and self-discipline, as self-esteem encourages laziness rather than hard work. (Twenge, 2006) Perhaps a happy medium is more appropriate. Children should not feel bad about themselves because they made a bad grade; they should just feel badly about themselves if they did not even study. Bad feelings can be used as a motivator for improvement. True self-confidence comes from developing your talents and learning things, not from being told you are great just because you exist. The efforts to avoid making a child repeat a grade, avoiding letter grades, and discouraging competition are misguided (Seligman, 2009). The ability to persevere is a much more useful life lesson than self-esteem; it results in preparing people for the increasingly competitive workforce.
The self-esteem emphasis leaves children unprepared for the unavoidable criticism and occasional failure that is real life. As such, the self-esteem movement of Generation Me has indeed resulted in unrealistic expectations for unearned success.

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References
Armour, S. (2005, Nov 6). Generation Y: They’ve Arrived At Work With A New Attitude, USA Today.
Barlow, T. (2009, Dec 28). Tribal Workers, Financial Times.
Hewitt, J. (1998). The Myth of Self-Esteem. Basingstoke, United Kingdom: Palgrave Macmillan.
Irvine, M. (2005, June 26). The Young Labeled ‘Entitlement Generation’. Free Republic.
Kaplan, J. (2006). Full Edition Review: of Management, Leading and Collaborating in the Competitive World’ “ (8th edition). Contemporary Management. p. 47.
Levine, M. (2005). Ready or Not, Here Life Comes. New York, NY: Simon & Schuster.
Schneider, B. Stevenson, D. (1999). The Ambitious Generation. New Haven: Yale University Press.
Seligman, M. (2009) Learned Optimism, New York, NY; Pocket Books.
Twenge, J.M. (2006). Generation Me: Why Today’s Yong Americans are More Confident, Assertive, Entitled – and More Miserable Than Ever Before. New York, NY: Simon & Schuster.
http://www.missionstatements.com/school_mission_statements.html